Jan, Sue and Mary haven't seen each other since High School. They rediscover each other via a reunion website and arrange to meet for lunch in a wine bar.

Jan arrives first, wearing beige Versace. She orders a bottle of Pinot Grigio.

Sue arrives shortly afterward, in gray Chanel. After the required ritualized kisses she joins Jan in a glass of wine.

Then Mary walks in, wearing a faded old tee-shirt, blue jeans and boots. She too shares the wine.

Jan explains that after leaving high school and graduating from Princeton in Classics, she met and married Timothy, with whom she has a beautiful daughter. Timothy is a partner in one of New York's leading law firms. They live in a 4000 sq. Ft. Co-op on Fifth Avenue, where Susanna, the daughter, attends drama school. They have a second home in Phoenix.

Sue relates that she graduated from Harvard Med School and became a surgeon. Her husband, Clive, is a leading Wall Street investment banker. They live in Southampton on Long Island and have a second home in Naples, Florida.

Mary explains that she left school at 17 and ran off with her boyfriend, Jim. They run a tropical bird park in Colorado and grow their own vegetables. Jim can stand five parrots, side by side, on his penis.

Halfway down the third bottle of wine and several hours later, Jan blurts out that her husband is really a cashier at Wal-Mart. They live in a small apartment in Brooklyn and have a travel trailer parked at a nearby storage facility.

Sue, chastened and encouraged by her old friend's honesty, explains that she and Clive are both nurses' aides in a retirement home. They live in Jersey City and take vacation camping trips to Alabama.

Mary admits that the fifth parrot has to stand on one leg.

Old Lewis Grizzard story from the late '80s. His story, however, took place in his native Atlanta, Ga. town.
He left us way too early but, he did leave some fine books behind. Google them and be prepared for some good laughs.

Lot of variations of this, all of them good.

Grizz

Damn, I had to shoo that fifth parrot off, his claws needed trimming.

Going to our 50th this summer. Looking forward to visiting with classmates some of whom I haven't seen in 5 decades.

Like the whore said in whorehouse about that canadian that han SWAN tatooed on his dick.The other whore says,"Honey that was not swan,it was sacatchewan." sigh.

quote:

Originally posted by NormanConquest:
Like the whore said in whorehouse about that canadian that han SWAN tatooed on his dick.The other whore says,"Honey that was not swan,it was sacatchewan." sigh.

Number of people on this earth who can spell Saskatchewan is probably severely limited.

Grizz

quote:

Originally posted by Gatogordo:
Damn, I had to shoo that fifth parrot off, his claws needed trimming.

Like the old joke about the two liars taking a leak off a bridge; first guy says "man this water's cold", second guy says " yup, deep too". First liar, as always, never stands a chance.

My tattoo says "Shorty" at first glance. But when you see the whole thing, it's "Shorty's Bar and Grill, Chattanooga Tennessee, United States of America".

I always wanted to get a rowboat tattoo so that when I got excited it became an aircraft carrier....

True story here. The actor Oliver Reed had an eagle tattooded on his shoulder + the claws of same tattooded on his dick. At Hollywood parties he would ask if anyone wanted to see his bird + then its perch.
Cost him quite a bit of jobs.