During his physical, the doctor asked the patient about his daily activity level.

He described a typical day this way:

Well, yesterday afternoon, I waded along the edge of a lake, drank eight beers, escaped from wild dogs in the heavy brush, jumped away from an aggressive rattlesnake, marched up and down several rocky hills, stood in a patch of poison ivy, crawled out of quicksand and took four leaks behind big trees.
Inspired by the story, the doctor said, You must be one hell of an outdoorsman!


NAH, he replied, I'm just a shitty golfer.

quote:

NAH, he replied, I'm just a shitty golfer.

And that's why I gave away my clubs.

Yep.
Long range shooting it like golf.... except for men! LOL

Zeke

Then there was the one about the early Scot who noticed a neighbor playing the pipes for the 1st time. He says, "Did ya see what that lad in the skirt was doing? He had a cat in a bag + was squeezing it something fierce while he chewed on its tail."

Woman: Doc i got stung by a bee playing golf.
Doc: Where did you get stung.
Woman: Between first and second hole.
Doc: Your stand is to wide!

An out of town man plays 18 holes and get lost on the way. He plays up to a beautifull lady and asks her if she knows where they are.
She replies: I'm playing 6'th hole and you're a hole behind me so you must be playing the 5'th hole.
In the clubhouse he meets her again and asks what she does for a living.
She refuses to answer and say that he'll just laugh and make her mad.
He promishes not to laugh and she says that she's a travelling agent selling hygene pads.
He spews beer out his nose and almost pisses himself laughing.
She get mad and he apologises saying: So sorry, but you see i'm a travelling agent myself and i sell toilet paper, so tecnically i'm still a hole behind you!