Subject: Nursery Rhymes we didn't have as kids.........

>> Nursery Rhymes we didn't have as kids.........
>>
>> Mary had a little pig,
>> She kept it fat and plastered;
>> And when the price of pork went up,
>> She shot the little bastard.
>>
>> ********************
>>
>> MARY HAD A LITTLE LAMB
>> Her father shot it dead.
>> Now it goes to school with her,
>> Between two hunks of bread.
>>
>> ********************
>>
>> JACK AND JILL Went up the hill
>> To have a little fun.
>> Stupid Jill forgot the pill
>> And now they have a son.
>>
>> ********************
>>
>> SIMPLE SIMON met a Pie man going to the fair.
>> Said Simple Simon to the Pie man,
>> "What have you got there?"
>> Said the Pie man unto Simon,
>> "Pies, you Dumb Ass"
>>
>> ********************
>>
>> HUMPTY DUMPTY sat on a wall,
>> Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.
>> All the kings' horses,
>> And all the kings' men.
>> Had scrambled eggs,
>> For breakfast again.
>>
>> ********************
>>
>> HEY DIDDLE, DIDDLE the cat took a piddle, All over the bedside clock.
>> The little dog laughed to see such fun.
>> Then died of electric shock.
>>
>> ********************
>>
>> GEORGIE PORGY Pudding and Pie,
>> Kissed the girls and made them cry.
>> And when the boys came out to play,
>> He kissed them too 'cause he was gay
>>
>> ********************
>>
>> There was a little girl who had a little curl Right in the middle of
>> her forehead.
>> When she was good, she was very, very good.
>> But when she was bad........
>> She got a fur coat, jewels, a waterfront condo, and a sports car.

jack and jill went up the hill
each one had a quarter
jill came down with 50 cents
you think they went up for water??

Mary had a little lamb
A little pork, a little jam
Then a soda topped with fizz
Now how sick our Mary is

Hickory Dickory Dock
Three mice ran up the clock
The clock struck one
And the other two escaped with minor injuries

Little Jack Horner sat in the corner
Eating his Christmas pie.
Stuck in his thumb right up her bum
He was eating a nice piece of HAIR pie!

Little miss muffet sat on her tuffet
Eating her curds and whey.
Along came a spider, sat down beside her
And said, "Hey bitch what's in the bowl?"