18 January 2022, 02:49
butchlocphony biden
President Biden visits a remote Native American reservation. With news crews
following him around as they tour the place, the President asks the chief if there
is anything they need.
"Well," says the chief, "We have three very important needs. First, we have a
medical clinic, but no doctor to man it.”
Biden whips out his cellphone, dials a number, talks to somebody for two minutes,
and then hangs up. "I've pulled some strings. Your doctor will arrive in a few days.”
"Now what was the second problem?”
"We have no way to get clean water. The local mining operation has poisoned the
water our people have been drinking for thousands of years. We've been flying
bottled water in, and it's terribly expensive.”
Once again, Biden dials a number, yells into the phone for a few minutes, and then
hangs up. "The mine has been shut down, and the owner is being billed for setting
up a purification plant for your people.”
"Now what was that third problem?" The chief looks at him and says, "We have no
cellphone reception up here!"
20 January 2022, 09:00
Lamarand the phone comes out again.