11 March 2006, 19:20
crickeryou just might be a gun nut if.........
~you consider it a point of honor to only buy factory ammo if you need the brass.
~when you hear or see the numbers 221 you automatically think "fireball", 257 you think "Roberts", 218 "Bee", 4570 "government" etc., etc. and can't stop.
~your pickup is subject to search at any given time because, in your state, empty cartridge cases rolling around the floor are considered probable cause.
~years in history are inextricably linked to firearms development in your head. 1860... 1903... 1911... 1921... 1941... 1957... etc.
~your telephone number is: 223-2250 or 308-3006 or 303-3040 or some other combination of three + four digit calibers.
~you think there is some special significance when you glance at a clock and it shows 3:08, 3:57, 2:23, etc., no matter how many times you see it.
~when you hear "Winchester Catherdral", you think of the "church of shooting".
~you use a spot on the windshield as a targeting sight on that idiotic driver in front of you.
~you start wondering if you should spread out your ammo boxes to more evenly distribute the weight on the floor.
~you start eyeing the floor space around your gun vault wondering if you could fit another one there along side it.
~you even had the thought " I wonder what scale that little kids Animal Crackers are, compared to Regulation shilouttes?"
~you buy a Remington 700 BDL Varmint in .308 just to get a supply of 308 cases to make brass for your .44 Auto Mag.
~you carry pictures of all your guns with you at all times in order to show off your "babies".
~you spend more on ammo each month than on food.
~your guns are worth twice as much as your car.
~even one of your guns is worth more than your car.
~you list your local FFL dealer as a dependent on your tax return.
~a topless joint with free admission is half a mile away, and instead you drive 40 miles to the shooting range on a Saturday night.
~you alternate silvertips and hydra-shocks in your magazines because they look prettier that way.
~you guess range and windage whenever you look at road signs.
~your driver's license says "must wear night-vision goggles"
~"Miller Time" means plinking at beer cans.
~the highlight of your week is discovering that 6 .40SW hollowpoints fit perfectly in a plastic 35mm film canister. (5 up/1 down in the middle).
~you retrofit a laser sight to your TV remote control.
~your favorite NBA team is the Boston KelTecs.
~your mailbox has a Weaver Rail on top.
~you can't figure out why your non-shooting friends laugh when you say "Bushmaster".
~you drive 300 miles just to ogle (and fire) HK-MP5s (and Stens, Uzis, BMGs and whatever else shows up at Knob Creek)
~you go to three different gun shows within a month and your excited every single time.
~you're guns are cleaner than your house/apartment.
~you have 5 different guns being DROS'd at 3 different FFL dealers.
~4 local gun shops know you by name.
~you're friends with 90%-100% of the employee's at every one of those shops.
~when you stop in, the ask you questions like "how was work?", "how's the wife and kids", "we're gonna order some food, ya want in?", etc.
~you can wallpaper your house with old issues of Shotgun News, Gun List, Guns & Ammo, etc...
~you're a computer specialist and you have more issues of Shotgun News and Gun List than MacWeek and PCWeek.
~you bought 7 or more AK-47's just so you could have different ones from different countries (Bulgarian, Romanian, Russian, Yugoslavian, Egyptian, Chinese, etc.)
~you're phone number, license plate, extension at work, etc. relates to some kind of bullet caliber...ON PURPOSE.
~you have framed targets hanging in your bathroom, hallway, etc. with tight groups that you have shot.
~you can read the same issue of SGN/GL/etc. everyday until a new issues comes out.
~you own enough guns to arm everyone on your block.
~you own 4 AR-15's configured EXACTLY the same but by different manufactures (Colt, Bushmaster, Olympic Arms, Armalite, etc.) just because you can.
~the last 5 guns you bought are never to be fired.
~you'd rather have a $10,000 PSG-1 and drive a $600 car rather than drive a $10,000 car and have a $600 gun.
~you preach how stupid gun laws/bans are at work when you work in a predominatly ANTI-gun company.
~you rather ban alcohol than hi-cap clips/mags.
~you actually consider buying the camo sexy underwear advertised for your sweetie in some gun catalogs.
~you learn that in the house your buying someone committed suicide using a firearm and all your interested in is the make, model, caliber and condition of the firearm that was used.
~your kids, once in said house, determine that the broken window was a result of that firearms slug after it left the skull cavity of the victim, and they understand why you bought the house.
~your brothers-in-law only come to visit so they can shoot your guns.
~your gun dealer owes you $500 bucks rather than the other way around.
~you consider concealed carry every time you shop for clothes.
~you take a dolly or hand truck with you to gun shows.
~you buy a gun safe much larger than you think you'll ever need and still fill it up.
~you need yet another safe for all of the ammunition.
~you have to structurally reinforce your house due to this hobby.
~you buy a .25 Beretta to keep inside your Bible cover. Everybody needs a "hideout church gun".
~your drive to work is filled with reverie about why Ed's Red actually works.
~when you talk about the best piece you ever had, if you mean a pistol.
~you get real good at drywalling your gun room once a year.
~you spend more on the gun accessories than the gun.
~you know the cyclic rate of a 1928 over-stamp Thompson.
~you spent hours trying to design a device that hands you bullets the right side up.
~you identify the gun on the cover of Dillon's "Blue Press" before you ever notice the girl.
~the first thing you notice is that she is actually holding the gun correctly.
~your license plate reads: "DBL TAP"
~your license plate reads: "GUN NUT" and the wife's car had "GUN NUT2".
~you have these plates and the Sheriff stops you to ask about finding a part or to sell you a used gun.
~you are Canadian and have the audacity to own a gun.
~you spend more than the cost of a new Glock to travel to the GSSF/Glock matches on the chance that you might win one as well as to shoot at someplace new and different.
~you never miss Monday Night Football because it is reloading night. That's because you went through a whole week's ammo the day before, while everyone else was home watching the regular Sunday games.
~you bought a barrel of Garand clips for the Garand your going to buy.
~you bought a mauser 98 barrel and are now looking for an action to which it can be fitted.
~you find a set of 8x57 dies and 3 boxes of brass for a good price and then spend $200 on a Persian Mauser and $99 on a Hakim to shoot the 8x57 reloads with.
~you carry a brush gun like a .35 Remington for close range shots and a .25/06 slung across your back for those long range shots when you have plenty of time.
~you have a Ruger M-77 in 7mm-08 because you had an excess 3X9 by 40 scope.
~you buy a used holster at a show for $5.00, and then spend a few hundred on a gun that fits it.
~you look in your dealer's used gun case and most of them once belonged to you.
~and you start buying them back.
~take your gun parts to work to do your customizing even though it may get you in trouble.
~you've ever conducted dry-fire practice while riding the porcelain ponny.
~if your local dealer comes to your house to shoot rather than the local range.
~if you collect empty cartridges that you can't use on the off hand chance that you might some day be able to trade them for something that you can use.
~you buy a set of grips for a pistol that you hope to get in the future.
~the dealer knows what you collect and calls you whenever he gets something new in (a Mk IV .455 Webley or anything Brittish).
~you call a friend long-distance just to discuss if a 3 gr. varience in cast bullets will effect accuracy.
~you were the only kid in the 8th grade who know how to field strip an MP40.
~you spend more time at the range on your knees in the bushes looking for corroded .25 ACP cases than shooting?
~you pick up even such useless items as .22 rimfire and steel Berdan primed military cases.
~you know they used those spent .22 cases for guilding material in swaged bullets during WWII.
~you stand next to shooters with semi-automatic firearms with a cardboard box, hoping to catch a few ejected empties.
~you concentrate more on where your .45 ACP cases are landing than on the target.
~you can concentrate on the target because your wife and/or kids chase the brass for you.
~you wander about in front of the firing line in search of that elusive 30/06 case even when others are firing.
~you make trips to the local range on cold, wet days just to search for a few old semi-crushed .38 Specials.
~you worry if you lose just ONE empty when shooting?
~you have cases in your pockets, car, bedroom, kitchen, office and garage at all times.
~your basement looks like an ammo dump.
~you scrounged brass before you ever owned a gun.
~your favorite euphemism for sex is "concealing the weapon,"