Only in California!

20 June 2003, 02:25

Marsh Mule

Only in California!

Only in California!! [Smile]

Corona, CA (Corona Times) 12/6/03

Tom Ridge's advice to Americans to stock up on duct tape and plastic has sparked a lawsuit which has been filed against him, the Department of Homeland Security and President George W. Bush.

Steven __, the owner of a construction company in Corona, California, has filed a lawsuit claiming emotional distress, personal injury and sexual dysfunction after he wrapped his "privates" in duct tape to protect them from a biological attack.

"After watching Mr. Ridge on television advising us to stock up on duct tape and plastic, I went to the local Costco and bought $100 worth of duct tape to protect myself", he said. "When I got home, I taped up my windows and doors. After I did that I realized survivors like myself are going to reproduce and populate the Earth after a biological attack, we have to protect our privates as well."

Steven claimed in his lawsuit he wrapped his "privates" in duct tape as test of "Homeland Security". When he tried to remove the tape, he injured himself when the tape began peeling off skin and body hair. After calling an ambulance, Steven was taken to the hospital where the doctors and nurses laughed at him.

"I told the doctors and nurses at the hospital if they laughed, I would file a lawsuit against them and the hospital. They laughed anyways and I now have another lawsuit pending" he said with tears streaming down his face. "They went out their way to make me look like a fool. Once I saw the doctors scalpel go toward my privates, I totally lost it and blacked out."

Also named in the lawsuit is the President of the United States, George W. Bush. "President Bush is just as liable for injury to my reproductive future because he hired Mr. Ridge to run the Department of Homeland Security and Mr. Ridge gave the nation bad advice. They also made me look like a fool." Steven sobbed.

The Department of Homeland Security and the Bush Administration have no comment on the lawsuit.

20 June 2003, 03:16

Recono

A reprint from

Corona, CA (Corona Times) 1/4/03,

no doubt.

20 June 2003, 03:18

WannabeBwana

Hell, I think the gov't should pay him off, as thanks for him not being able to reproduce.

The last thing we need is more like him around... [Roll Eyes]

20 June 2003, 03:25

Marsh Mule

Recono;
Yep! Must be!
[Wink]

[ 06-19-2003, 18:27: Message edited by: Marsh Mule ]

20 June 2003, 04:29

308shtr

Sounds like a candidate for a Darwin award.

20 June 2003, 04:55

B17G

for those that don't live anywhere near it, welcome to what it is like dealing with Californians!

Not all of them, but enough of them!

That is why they call it the Land of Fruits and Nuts!

20 June 2003, 05:14

tasco 74

20 June 2003, 06:23

Trapshooter

What a dumb ass [Roll Eyes]

20 June 2003, 10:50

Magnum Mike

quote:
Originally posted by Marsh Mule:
They also made me look like a fool." Steven sobbed.....

Damn Steve, think you did a purty good job of that yourself. [Roll Eyes]

20 June 2003, 15:36

<stans>

Occasionally, the gene pool needs to be cleaned, this guy was just trying to help the process.

20 June 2003, 19:06

Marsh Mule

Jeepers there Seafire, isn't Oregon the home of the Dali Lama and All his followers? Still got lots of Hippies and Flower Children their too?

20 June 2003, 20:42

spectr17

I live near Corona. Here's the mayor heading into work. For some reason the words "Banana hammock" come to mind.

21 June 2003, 12:13

arty

what a bunch of losers. I feel sorry for the normal people who live there. and I was born there! I should renounce my "citizenship"

23 June 2003, 13:04

mike338

If his law suit ever gets filed, he, the lawyer and everyone associated with filing the suit should be takien out and shot. What a bunch of shit heads. Now let me get this straight. A guy who works in the construction field goes out and buys $100 in tape that he, as everyone else knows is one of the most sticky things yet invented, wrapes his privates in it, then can't figure out how to get out of it and them blames someone else for his stupidity. What a great country we live in. You are not resopnsible for any of your own actions, just do someting stupid, then blame someone else and try to sue them. Just take him and his lawyer out and hang them both with the tape.

23 June 2003, 23:42

Stryker225

BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

I hope his sack gets ripped open and his balls fall out!! [Eek!]

Damn, there are some stupid people in this world...

23 June 2003, 23:52

Stryker225

I use a cast metal cup made for sparring protection to combat these peepee shrinkin' radiations.

I bet it can stop bullets and stuff... [Cool]

24 June 2003, 05:46

Dago Red

I live in California, and unfortunately that is how it goes. Many many people looking for a handout, freemeal, or ticket to a life that they won't have to work to support. Unfortunately this guy will probably be able to reproduce, if he hasn't already.

It might be even sadder that there are lawyers willing to take the case. There will always be nuts around, whether or not they are helped and supported in their lunacy is not a given. Lawyers unfortunately often have very little to no standards, so they will take anything where they might get money.

Probably the stupidest part of the equation is the juror pool in California, I have sat in on trials and watched, how they can listen to the whole case and then rule in favor of guys like this is beyond me, but it happens.

Red