1. The Wall Street Journal is read by the people who run the country

2. The Washington Post is read by people who think they run the country.

3. The New York Times is read by people who think they should run the
country and who are very good at crossword puzzles.

4. USA Today is read by people who think they ought to run the country
but don't really understand the New York Times. They do,
however, like their statistics shown in pie charts.

5. The Los Angeles Times is read by people who wouldn't mind running
the country -- if they could find the time -- and if they
didn't have to leave Southern California to do it.

6. The Boston Globe is read by people whose parents used to run the
country and did a poor job of it, thank you very much.

7. The New York Daily News is read by people who aren't too sure who's
running the country and don't really care as long as they can
get a seat on the train.

8 The New York Post is read by people who don't care who is running the
country as long as they do something really scandalous, preferably
while intoxicated.

9. The Miami Herald is read by people who are running (from) another
country but need the baseball scores.

10. The San Francisco Chronicle is read by people who aren't sure if
there is a country or that anyone is running it, but if so, they
oppose all that they stand for. There are occasional exceptions if the
leaders are handicapped minority feminist atheist gay dwarfs who
also happen to be illegal aliens from any other country or galaxy,
provided of course, that they are not Republicans.

11. The National Enquirer is read by people trapped in line at the
grocery store.

12. The Seattle Times, the Eugene Register-Guard, the Portland
Oregonian and Nashville Tennessean are read by people who have
recently caught a fish and need something to wrap it in.

Pretty damned good.

The last one reminds me of one of my favorite old saws:

"Today's scandal wraps tomorrow's fish."

Here's another old saw that I just made up:

"Newspapers are a dying read."

quote:

Originally posted by nvmichael:

and
12. The Seattle Times, the Eugene Register-Guard, and the Portland
Oregonian are read by people who have
recently caught a fish and need something to wrap it in.

But not a good clean, fighting and sporting fish such as a 39 pound Chinook or a 30 pound Striper fresh in from the sea...just a mud sucker they are taking home for the cat.

That is funny! And I don't care who you are. Unless you're from SFO.