The day after his wife disappeared in a kayaking accident an Anchorage man answered his door to find two grim faced Alaska State Troopers. "We're sorry Mr. Wilkens but we have some information about your wife" said one Trooper.
"Tell me! Did you find her?" shouted Mr. Wilkens.
The Troopers looked at each other.
One said " We have some bad news, some good news and some really great news. Which would you like to hear first?"
Fearing the worst a pale faced Mr. Wilkens said "Give me the bad news first."
The Trooper said "I'm sorry to tell you sir but this morning we found your wife's body in Kachemak Bay."
"Oh my God!" exclaimed Wilkens. Taking a minute to compose himself he feebly asks "What is the good news?"
The Trooper responded " When we pulled her up she had 12 twenty five pound King crabs and 6 good size Dungeness crabs clinging to her."
Stunned Mr. Wilkens demanded "Well if thats the good news what's the great news?"
The Trooper responds "We are going to pull her up again tomorrow."

I posted this little story nearly 5 years ago and noticed it never got so much as a comment!
I thought this was funny and when I reread it I laughed again.
I have a sick sense of humor................

all depends on how you feel about your wife. If you'd have asked me last week....

Still, I found it quite funny

That's one of the standard ones here.

Always liked this one. Translated it into Czech language too.

Funny depends if you are divorced or single and how she behaved.