(As an Irishman, I have had to listen to lots of jokes about the Irish. I'm happy to find this one about the Scots!)

An American tourist is touring Scotland and stops into a local pub. It's a pleasant kind of place and he enjoys talking to the pub keeper. He also notices an old sad looking Scot sitting at the end of the bar. (It's during the day and in midweek so no one else is around) He moves down and offers to buy the old man a drink. The old Scot perks up and they get talking. Finally, the tourist asks why he seems so sad.

The old Scot (after another single malt Scotch) says: " Young mon, look out that window. Do ye see that long pier for the fishing boats? Well, I built it! Do they call me Angus the harbor builder?"

Angus goes on: " Do ye see that town hall? Well, I built it! Do they call me Angus the town hall builder?"

"But they see me just once with a sheep and what do they call me?"

Angus the Kiwi?

Dave:

Now,now! Be nice! I always understood that the New Zealanders civilized the Aussies by teaching them how to observe proper military discipline. After all, how else would the Aussies have been able to serve? (Like I said once before to you, Dave, I enormously enjoy being able to insult Aussies from 12 thousand miles away) ( Worst of all, I'm an Irishman!)

Which is of course why God created Alcohol.
So that the Irish (and Australians) wouldn't rule the world!

Cheers, Dave.

Dave: