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the 3 sure things

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20 May 2008, 19:30
butchloc
the 3 sure things
The madam opened the brothel door and saw a rather dignified, well-dressed,
good-looking man in his late forties or early fifties.

'May I help you?' she asked.

'I want to see Valerie,' the man replied.

'Sir, Valerie is one of our most expensive ladies. Perhaps you would prefer
someone else,' said the madam.

'No. I must see Valerie,' he replied.

Just then, Valerie appeared and announced to the man that she charged
$5,000 a visit. Without hesitation, the man pulled out five thousand dollars and
gave them to Valerie, and they went upstairs. After an hour, the man calmly
left.

The next night, the same man appeared again, once more demanding to see
Valerie.

Valerie explained that no one had ever come back two nights in a row--too
expensive -- and there were no discounts. The price was still $5,000.
Again the man pulled out the money, gave it to Valerie, and they went upstairs. After an hour, he left.

The following night the man was there yet again. Everyone was astounded
that he had come for a third consecutive night, but he paid Valerie and they
went upstairs.

After their session, Valerie questioned the man. 'No one has ever been with
me three nights in a row. Where are you from?' she asked.

The man replied, ' South Carolina .'

'Really' she said. 'I have family in South Carolina .'

'I know,' the man said. 'Your father died, and I am your sister's attorney.
She asked me to give you your $15,000 inheritance.'

The moral of the story is that three things in life are certain:



1. Death

2. Taxes

3. Being screwed by a lawyer
20 May 2008, 19:37
oopswasthatyourdog?
clap

This is an old one but still a good one!


I am a Canadian, free to speak without fear, free to worship in my own way, free to stand for what I think right, free to oppose what I believe wrong, or free to choose those who shall govern my country. This heritage of freedom I pledge to uphold for myself and all mankind.
- John Diefenbaker (From the Canadian Bill of Rights, July 1, 1960.)

21 May 2008, 09:56
Norman Conquest
Yes it is an old one but needs repeating hence we forget the lawyers.


Never mistake motion for action.
24 May 2008, 16:59
Sambar 9.3
rotflmo rotflmo rotflmo


Cheers, Dave.

Aut Inveniam Viam aut Faciam.
25 May 2008, 02:18
Michael Robinson
What's the problem? She got her fifteen grand didn't she? Big Grin


Mike

Wilderness is my cathedral, and hunting is my prayer.
31 May 2008, 03:02
T/C Nut
LOL
02 June 2008, 19:25
22WRF
Gee, I don't know. I have done over 100 pro bono cases in the last 15 years that could have been billed out at maybe $300,000 in total

Lets talk about the oil and gas companies for awhile. Big Grin
05 June 2008, 02:56
bigduke
sounds like a good topic, 22WRF thumb


A vote is like a rifle: its usefulness depends upon the character of the user.”
― Theodore Roosevelt
14 June 2008, 05:59
jb
I see opec is even commenting on gas being too high now. Eeker


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SI VIS PACEM PARA BELLUM
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14 June 2008, 10:12
Alberta Canuck
Anyone know what the price of gas is to the civilian on the street in Iraq right now? According to what I have read in the local newspaper, the U.S. taxpayer is paying to subsidize gasoline to the Iraqis for something like $ 0.17 per gallon. By that, I mean we are picking up the difference between the world price and the 17 cents they were paying at the time of the article, so they could buy it for that.

If that is so, no one can fathom how much that pisses me off....

Just who the hell DOES our government represent anyway? It sure as hell doesn't seem to be us (Joe Blow, the average citizen). My time in the Regular Army, and resulting permanent disability at age 20 (50 some years ago now) sure seem to me to have been pretty much a waste when I look at what we have in Congress, the Executive Branch, and the Supreme Court.
14 June 2008, 17:34
RJL
quote:
Just who the hell DOES our government represent anyway? It sure as hell doesn't seem to be us (Joe Blow, the average citizen).


And your just now figuring that out?