Lots of folks seem to complain these days about immigrants to the USA who don't learn to speak English well.. One of our stable-hands was chastised by a horse boarder the other day and just shook his head. When asked what that was all about he said, Englais muy dificile.

I said, "what do you mean?"

He replied, "por ejemplo,
Why is no egg in eggplant, no apple y no pine in pineapple, no one knows what is in hot dog? Pero no es perro.

Sweetmeats es candies, sweetbreads are no sweet y no bread, are meat.

You know, he's right.

Here's some more that can be confusing for those whose English is a second language...

Quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square, the Guinea Pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.

Why is it that writer's write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce, and hammers don't ham?

If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth, beeth? One goose, two geese. So why not one Moose, two Meese? Is cheese he plural of choose? One mouse, two mice; one louse, two lice, one house two hice?

If teachers once taught, why didn't preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?


Even tougher, why do people recite at a play but play at a recital? Why do we "ship" by truck or car, and send "cargo" by ship? Why do we have noses than run, and feet that smell, park on driveways and drive on parkways?

How can a fat chance and a slim chance be the same while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites? How can the weather be hot as heck on one day and cold as heck on another?

When a house burns up it burns down? You fill in a form by filling it out? You get in and out of a car but on and off a bus?

When the stars are out they are visible, but when the lights are out they are invisible?
And why, when I wind up my watch I start it, but when I wind up this post, I end it?

Pity the poor immigrant. How can he learn a language which in itself doesn't know if it coming or going??

Is that taken in part from George Carlin? I could almost hear him reciting it as I read.

Great stuff.

I got it from a mate down under. I don't know where he got it.

Foreigner is difficult to understand the difference between "handwork" and "handjob"

And this sentence makes perfect sense:

"The doubts he had had had had gone by now"