I didn’t make it to the gym today. That makes five years in a row.

I decided to stop calling the bathroom the “John” and renamed it the “Jim”. I feel so much better saying I went to the "gym" this morning.

Old age is coming at a really bad time.

When I was a child I thought “Nap Time” was a punishment. Now, as a grownup, it feels like a small vacation.

The biggest lie I tell myself is ”I don't need to write that down, I'll remember it."

I don’t have gray hair; I have "wisdom highlights"! I’m just very wise.

If God wanted me to touch my toes, He would’ve put them on my knees.

Last year I joined a support group for procrastinators. We haven’t met yet.

Why do I have to press one for English when you’re just going to transfer me to someone I can't understand anyway?

Of course I talk to myself. Sometimes I need expert advice.

At my age “Getting lucky" means walking into a room and remembering what I came in there for.

Actually I'm not complaining because I am a Senager. (Senior teenager) I have everything that I wanted as a teenager, only 60 years later. I don’t have to go to school or work. I get an allowance every month. I have my own pad. I don’t have a curfew. I have a driver’s license and my own car. The people I hang around with are not scared of getting pregnant, and I don’t have acne. Life is great.

I have more friends I should send this to, but right now I can’t remember their names.

Now, I’m wondering: did I send this to you, or did you send it to me?

quote:

Old age is coming at a really bad time.

Ain't that the truth!

So Very True!! But Funny.

Too damned true.

Growing old, not so funny.

Dave

quote:

Originally posted by nopride2:
Growing old, not so funny.

Dave

Being vertical is great.

Old man I used to work with said,"At my age,I'd rather be promised than offered."

Getting old sucks, but I guess it beats the only alternative; at least so far.

True,we are still this side of the grass.