A man brings his best buddy home for dinner.

His wife screams at him: "My hair and makeup are not done, the house is a mess, the dishes are not done, I'm still in my pajamas and I can't be bothered with cooking tonight! What the hell did you bring him home for?”

"Because he's considering getting married..."

I cautiously chuckled out loud on this one. Can't laugh too loud, or the wife will come over and read it... I'm married too, you see