A real southern gentleman with a strong southern accent went to Las Vegas. Sitting in a cocktail lounge, and sipping on some bourbon, he beckoned the waitress and said quietly, "Miss, y'all sure are a luvly, luvly lady. Can ah persuade y'all to give me a piece of ass?"



"Wow, that's the most direct proposition I've ever had, gasped the girl." Then she looked around the room, smiled and said, "Sure, why not? You're an attractive guy too, and it's pretty slow here right now, so why don't we just slip away up to your room?"



When they returned half an hour later, the man sat down at the same table and the waitress smiled at him and asked, "Will there be anything else?"



"Why yes, replied the southern gentleman. Ah sure 'preciate what y'all just did for me. It was real sweet and right neighbourly of y'all. But where ah come from in Alabama, we lack our bourbon real cold, so ah still need a piece of ass for mah drink."

Being a Southerner, I knew exactly what he said in the first sentence!

Exactly!!

Yes indeed,we talk normal (to us).In the mid 70's when we had the yankee refugee influx into Texas,I could'nt understand a word they said.Funny thing was that the men went back up north but the women wanted to stay;seemed they had never had the experience of having good men in their lives.I'm only reporting but I was there + is was very true.

Back in the 70's I called to sheriffs office in South Carolina to confirm a warrant.

The phone was answered by a good old southern gal.

After a few minutes I finally had to say can you put someone on the phone that speaks English.

She did so with a remark.

Worked with a guy up here who was a transplant from Georgia. Literally couldn't understand a single word he said. We called him "Boomhower" (however you spell it), from the TV show King of the Hill, because he talked just like the character.

I used to tell him if he couldn't learn how to talk, he was going to have to start writing shit down.

The Sothern drawl is just one of God’s gifts to mankind.

That is so true xgrunt, The ones that chap my hide on the phone are the paki telemarketers that continue to plague us. My standard response is "Not today Sabu" when I even bother to say anything.I used to be polite but since they are not, as well as being invasive in one's own home,just hang up on the cretins.