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Some History in Honor of President's Day

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22 February 2009, 20:06
Michael Robinson
Some History in Honor of President's Day
Actual excerpts from essays written by this generation's high school history students:

"Thomas Jefferson, who was a Virgin, and Benjamin Franklin were two singers of the Declaration of Independence. Franklin had gone to Boston carrying all his clothes in his pocket and a loaf of bread under each arm. He invented electricity by rubbing cats backwards and declared 'a horse divided against itself cannot stand.' Franklin died in 1790 and is still dead."

"George Washington married Martha Curtis and in due time became the Father of Our Country. Then the Constitution of the United States was adopted to secure domestic hostility. Under the Constitution the people enjoyed the right to keep bare arms."

"Abraham Lincoln became America's greatest Precedent. Lincoln's mother died in infancy, and he was born in a log cabin which he built with his own hands. When Lincoln was President, he wore only a tall silk hat. He said, 'In onion there is strength.'"

"Abraham Lincoln wrote the Gettysburg address while traveling from Washington to Gettysburg on the back of an envelope. He also signed the Emasculation Proclamation, and the Fourteenth Amendment gave the ex-Negroes citizenship. But the Clue Clux Clan would torcher and lynch the ex-Negroes and other innocent victims."

"On the night of April 14, 1865, Lincoln went to the theater and got shot in his seat by one of the actors in a movie. The believed assinator was John Wilkes Booth, a supposedly insane actor. This ruined Booth's career."


Mike

Wilderness is my cathedral, and hunting is my prayer.
23 February 2009, 06:00
Mort Canard
Quite a bit of it looks like an over-reliance on spell checker and not knowing when the spell checker has given you the wrong word.

Not sure when the KKK changed it's initials to the CCC. bewildered


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