09 May 2006, 08:33
billslegBryan and reincarnation
>> Bryan came home from the pub late one Friday evening stinking drunk,
>>> as he often did, and crept into bed beside his wife who was already
>>> asleep.
>>>
>>> He gave a peck on the cheek and fell asleep. When he awoke he found
>>> a strange man standing at the end of his bed wearing a long flowing
>>> white robe.
>>>
>>> "Who the hell are you?" Demanded Brian, "and what are you doing in
>>> my bedroom?".
>>>
>>> The mysterious Man answered "This isn't your bedroom and I'm St Peter".
>>>
>>> Brian was stunned "You mean I'm dead!!! That can't be, I have so
>>> much to live for, I haven't said goodbye to my family.... you've got
>>> to send me back straight away".
>>>
>>> St Peter replied "Yes you can be reincarnated but there is a catch.
>>> We can only send you back as a dog or a hen."
>>>
>>> Brian was devastated, but knowing there was a farm not far from his
>>> house, he asked to be sent back as a hen.
>>>
>>> A flash of light later he was covered in feathers and clucking
>>> around pecking the ground. "This ain't so bad" he thought until he
>>> felt this strange feeling welling up inside him.
>>>
>>> The farmyard rooster strolled over and said "So you're the new hen,
>>> how are you enjoying your first day here?"
>>>
>>> "It's not so bad" replies Brian, "but I have this strange feeling
>>> insidelike I'm about to explode".
>>>
>>> "You're ovulating" explained the rooster, "don't tell me you've
>>> never laid an egg before".
>>>
>>> "Never" replies Brian "Well just relax and let it happen" And so he
>>> did and after a few uncomfortable seconds later, an egg pops out
>>> from under his tail. An immense feeling of relief swept over him and
>>> his emotions got the better of him as he experienced motherhood for
>>> the first time.
>>>
>>> When he laid his second egg, the feeling of happiness was
>>> overwhelming and he knew that being reincarnated as a hen was the
>>> best thing that ever happened to him... ever!!!
>>>
>>> The joy kept coming and as he was just about to lay his third egg he
>>> felt an enormous smack on the back of his head and heard his wife
>>> shouting "Brian, wake up you drunken bastard, You've just shit yourself"