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Basic laws of..........?

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12 June 2016, 06:31
xgrunt
Basic laws of..........?
Y1 . Law of Mechanical Repair
After your hands become coated with grease, your nose
will begin to itch and you'll have to pee.



2. Law of Gravity
Any tool, nut, bolt, screw, when dropped, will roll to the
least accessible place in the universe.



3. Law of Probability
The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.



4. Law of Random Numbers
If you dial the wrong number, you never get a busy signal;
someone always answers.



5. Variation Law
If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in
will always move faster than the one you are in now.



6. Law of the Bath
When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone will ring.



7. Law of Close Encounters
The probability of meeting someone you know INCREASES dramatically when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.



8. Law of the Result
When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, IT WILL!!!



10. Law of the Theater & Hockey Arena - At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle, always arrive last. They are the ones who will leave their seats several times to go for food, beer, or the toilet and who leave early before the end of the performance or the game is over.
The folks in the aisle seats come early, never move once, have long legs or big bellies and stay to the bitter end of the performance. The aisle people also are very surly folk.


11.The Coffee Law
As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.



12. Murphy's Law of Lockers - If there are only 2 people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.



13. Law of Physical Surfaces - The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a floor are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet or rug.



14. Law of Logical Argument
Anything is possible IF you don't know what you are talking about.



15. Law of Physical Appearance
If the clothes fit, they're ugly.



16.Law of Public Speaking
A CLOSED MOUTH GATHERS NO FEET!


17. Law of Commercial Marketing Strategy
As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it, OR the store will stop selling it!



18. Doctors' Law
If you don't feel well, make an appointment to go to the doctor, by the time you get there, you'll feel better. But don't make an appointment and you'll stay sick.



If you don't forward this to your friends, your belly button will unscrew and your ass will fall off. Really... It's true. I read it on the Internet!
12 June 2016, 08:50
NormanConquest
Murphy's law says that the good wiper blade is on the passenger side.As to #6,that is why I installed a phone line by the throne.


Never mistake motion for action.
12 June 2016, 08:59
Idaho Sharpshooter
RE #15, the O-N-L-Y known exception are blue jeans...
12 June 2016, 16:58
The Dane
Coles law

Shredded cabbage and carrots.
13 June 2016, 05:51
srtrax
quote:
s

Sure would like to know what #9 was? fishing


_____________________
Steve Traxson

13 June 2016, 09:04
NormanConquest
More of the same;give it a rest.


Never mistake motion for action.
13 June 2016, 13:38
mete
Law of Gravity - There may be other forces that few think of. Back in the day, in gunsmithing school, someone lost an important part from a gun. After looking and looking without success someone asked "did you look up there ?" The school had an open ceiling with some beams. There was the part on top of the beam .Spring loaded ! Roll Eyes
13 June 2016, 17:56
Kensco
We had a corollary in the drilling industry to No.2, Law of Gravity.

If you didn't cover the hole in the drill floor (rotary table) immediately on a trip, that is where your hammer would end-up when dropped. Pull the slips and find you're missing a tong die. Guess where?!?!
14 June 2016, 08:00
Fjold
50/50 - 90 rule

Given a 50/50 choice, you'll be wrong 90% of the time.


Frank



"I don't know what there is about buffalo that frightens me so.....He looks like he hates you personally. He looks like you owe him money."
- Robert Ruark, Horn of the Hunter, 1953

NRA Life, SAF Life, CRPA Life, DRSS lite

15 June 2016, 00:41
Use Enough Gun
rotflmo