Oldie but always funny

25 January 2018, 14:58

An Irishman went to confession.........

“Father”, he confessed, “it has been one month since my last confession.
I had sex with Nookie Green twice last month.”

The priest told the sinner, “You are forgiven. Go out and say three Hail Marys.”
Soon, another Irishman entered the confessional.
“Father, it has been two months since my last confession. I’ve been having sex with
Nookie Green twice a week for the last two months.”

This time the priest questioned, “Who is this Nookie Green?”
“A new woman in the neighborhood,” the sinner replied.
“Very well”, sighed the priest. “Go and say ten Hail Marys.”
At mass the next morning as the priest was preparing to deliver the sermon a tall, voluptuous,
drop-dead gorgeous redhead entered the sanctuary.
The eyes of every man in the church were on her as she slowly sashayed
up the aisle and sat down right in front of the priest

Her dress was green and very short and she was wearing matching, shiny emerald green shoes.
The priest and the altar boy gasped as she sat with her legs spread slightly apart ...
just enough to reveal that she wasn’t wearing any underwear.

The priest turned to the altar boy and whispered, “Is that Nookie Green?”
The bug-eyed altar boy couldn’t believe his ears, but managed to calmly reply,
“No Father, ....I think it’s just a reflection from her shoes.”

--
Sent

26 January 2018, 08:54

NormanConquest

Old indeed. In my telling it was a matronly black queen of the church who was called mother green. Same story but the punch was .it might be how the light comes in through the stain glass. Funny just the same. I might have to reinsitute my forum on "no new jokes" . in which all you supply is a punch line.C'mon,we have already heard them all.Show you remember a few.

27 January 2018, 00:10

Use Enough Gun

28 January 2018, 00:04

twoseventy

I laugh every time I read it.

...I say that hunters go into Paradise when they die, and live in this world more joyfully than any other men.
-Edward, duke of York

". . . when a man has shot an elephant his life is full." ~John Alfred Jordan

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"The smallest minority on earth is the individual. Those who deny individual rights cannot claim to be defenders of minorities." - Ayn Rand

Cogito ergo venor- KPete

“It is not from the benevolence of the butcher, the brewer, or the baker, that we expect our dinner, but from their regard to their own self-interest. We address ourselves, not to their humanity but to their self-love, and never talk to them of our own necessities but of their advantages.”
― Adam Smith - “Wealth of Nations”