There was an old guy wandering around the supermarket calling out,"Crisco, Crissscccoooo!"
Finally a store clerk approached. "Sir, the Crisco is in aisle five."
"Oh," replied the old gentleman, "I'm not looking for cooking Crisco,I am calling my wife."
"Your wife is named "Crisco?"
"Nah," he answered, "I only call her that when we're out in public."
"Oh? What do you call her when you are at home?"
"Lard ass."

She's probably lurking in housewares down aisle 12 - where they sell the BIG cast iron skillets........

[ 06-23-2003, 21:23: Message edited by: Eagle37 ]