Jane and Arlene are outside their nursing home having a drink and a smoke, when it starts to rain. Jane pulls out a condom, cuts off the end, puts it over her cigarette, and continues smoking.

Arlene: “What in the hell is that?”

Jane: “A condom. This way my cigarette doesn't get wet.”


Arlene: “Where did you get it?”

Jane: “You can get them at any pharmacy.”

The next day Arlene hobbles herself into the local pharmacy and
 announces to the pharmacist that she wants a box of condoms. The pharmacist, obviously embarrassed, looks at her kind of strangely (she is, after all, over 80 years of age), but very delicately asks what size, texture, and brand of condom she prefers.

“Doesn't matter sonny, as long as it fits on a Camel.”

The pharmacist fainted.

Snort....!

Good One!

Bada-boom!

True story here. In 1944 (the coldest winter in 60 years) the OSS were planning on amphibious assault on the coast of Norway figuring the Germans would not expect anyone coming in by sea.Their STENs had suppressors that were 14" long + 3" in dia. To keep the salt water out of the bores they put out a contract with a London condom mfg. for special order.Concerned about spies putting it all together Churchill said "Write on the side of the box 'British-size medium.We'll show them who the master race is."