AFTER BEING MARRIED FOR MANY YEARS, I TOOK A LOOK AT MY WIFE ONE DAY AND SAID, HONEY, YEARS AGO WE HAD A CHEAP APARTMENT, A CHEAP CAR, SLEPT ON A SOFA BED, WATCHED A 10-INCH BLACK AND WHITE TV BUT I GOT TO SLEEP EVERY NIGHT WITH A HOT 21-YEAR-OLD CHICK.

NOW I HAVE A $500,000.00 HOME, A $45,000.00 CAR, A KING-SIZE BED, A PLASMA SCREEN TV BUT I'M SLEEPING WITH A CROTCHETY OLD NAG. IT SEEMS TO ME THAT YOU'RE NOT HOLDING UP YOUR SIDE OF THE BARGAIN.

MY WIFE, OCCASIONALLY A REASONABLE WOMAN, TOLD ME TO GO OUT AND FIND A HOT 21-YEAR-OLD AND SHE WOULD SEE TO IT THAT I WOULD AGAIN BE LIVING IN A CHEAP APARTMENT, DRIVING A CHEAP CAR, SLEEPING ON A SOFA BED AND WATCHING A 10-INCH BLACK AND WHITE TV.