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How to insult just about everybody

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06 March 2018, 14:32
xgrunt
How to insult just about everybody
HOW MOSES GOT THE 10 COMMANDMENTS



God went to the Arabs and said,

'I have Commandments for you that will make your lives better.'

The Arabs asked, 'What are Commandments?'

And the Lord said, 'They are rules for living.'

'Can you give us an example?'

'Thou shall not kill.'

'Not kill? We're not interested..'



So He went to the Blacks and said, 'I have Commandments.'

The Blacks wanted an example, and the Lord said,

Honor thy Father and Mother..'

'Father? We don't know who our fathers are.

We're not interested.'



Then He went to the Mexicans and said,

'I have Commandments.'

The Mexicans also wanted an example, and the Lord said 'Thou shall not steal.'

'Not steal? We're not interested.'



Then He went to the French and said,

'I have Commandments.'

The French too wanted an example and the Lord said, 'Thou shall not commit adultery.'

'Sacre bleu!!! Not commit adultery? We're not interested.'



Finally, He went to the Jews and said,

'I have Commandments..'

'Commandments?' They said, 'How much are they?'

'They're free.'

'We'll take 10.'



There. That, should piss off just about everybody.....
06 March 2018, 19:08
Saeed
Four babies were mixed up at birth, and no one knows which one belongs to what parent!

The hospital was in an uproar, then a young doctor comes along and asks what the problem was.

They told him.

He asked what nationality the babies were.

He was told one was an Arab. One was a German. One was a Jew and one was a Pakistani.

The doctor said he knew how to tell the kids apart.

He walks into the room where the babies were, and screams HILE HITLER!

The German baby salutes, the Jews babies shits himself, the Arab turns to the Pakistani and says “clean it up” sofa

There, I hope all you lot are insulted now!


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07 March 2018, 06:35
Jerry Fisk
Dang Saeed, that's funny. Nuke the gay nazi whales is close as I can get.


Keep the Pointy end away from you
www.jerryfisk.com
07 March 2018, 09:48
NormanConquest
Sweet,we all love comedy. I remember "Nuke the baby whales for Jesus;kind of lame.


Never mistake motion for action.
08 March 2018, 00:53
Use Enough Gun
Big Grin
08 March 2018, 03:11
TCLouis
Big Grin

Very Good@!!



Don't limit your challenges . . .
Challenge your limits


08 March 2018, 09:57
NormanConquest
Since we are in that frame of mind;I will tell one of my own...No forget it,too nasty.


Never mistake motion for action.
08 March 2018, 11:41
Saeed
quote:
Originally posted by NormanConquest:
Since we are in that frame of mind;I will tell one of my own...No forget it,too nasty.


Nothing is too nasty to make fun of homo sapiens.

Whether they white, black, yellow or brown.

Oh, and let us not forget the pink ones too! clap


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08 March 2018, 18:44
Grizzly Adams
If we can't make fun of each other, we still have a problem. Wink

Grizz


Indeed, no human being has yet lived under conditions which, considering the prevailing climates of the past, can be regarded as normal. John E Pfeiffer, The Emergence of Man

Those who can't skin, can hold a leg. Abraham Lincoln

Only one war at a time. Abe Again.
09 March 2018, 08:38
NormanConquest
This is not the nasty one but it will do. You take 3 groups Black,Mexican,+ whites out to a job site independatly + give them the simple instruction to remove this tree. Now the blacks (ifn you can get the boys to work) will try to root it up by brute strength,the Mexicans will be all over it in seconds tearing it into toothpicks in record time.The whites will stand around + look at it + discuss the feasability to form a committee approving building an ax.


Never mistake motion for action.
09 March 2018, 14:13
Saeed
Three people appeared at a job site looking for jobs.

An Englishman, and Frenchman and a Chinaman.

They were given a temporary job of digging a trench.

The foreman turned to the Englshman "you are in charge of digging"
To the Frenchman he said "you are to take all the soil from the trench and dump over there.
To the Chinaman he said "you are in charge of supplies" and left.

Lunch time the foreman comes, and gets absolutely hopping mad, as no work was done!

"WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE! WHY HAVEN'T YOU LOT DONE ANY WORK?"
Both said "we are waiting for the supplies"

Foreman "WHERE IS THE BLOODY CHINAMAN?"

Suddenly, the Chink appears, screaming "SUPPLIES!"


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09 March 2018, 16:02
DocEd
"An Irishman walked out of a bar."


NRA Patron Life Member Benefactor Level
09 March 2018, 18:47
Pa.Frank
Great thread...

Here's my contribution..

Three workers an Italian, an Irishman and a black were sitting around at lunch discussing what they thought the worlds greatest invention was.
The Italian said of course it was the Radio (invented by Marconi), The Irishman said it was the telephone (bell), and the black guy said it was the thermos..

"The Thermos??" the other two guys said...

Yeah said the black guy... it keeps hot stuff hot.... it keeps cold stuff cold..

How do it know?


jumping


NRA Benefactor.

Life is tough... It's even tougher when you're stupid... John Wayne
09 March 2018, 19:02
Grizzly Adams
quote:
Originally posted by Pa.Frank:
Great thread...

Here's my contribution..

Three workers an Italian, an Irishman and a black were sitting around at lunch discussing what they thought the worlds greatest invention was.
The Italian said of course it was the Radio (invented by Marconi), The Irishman said it was the telephone (bell), and the black guy said it was the thermos..

"The Thermos??" the other two guys said...

Yeah said the black guy... it keeps hot stuff hot.... it keeps cold stuff cold..

How do it know?


jumping


Hey, Bell they claim here, was a Canadian. Smiler

Grizz


Indeed, no human being has yet lived under conditions which, considering the prevailing climates of the past, can be regarded as normal. John E Pfeiffer, The Emergence of Man

Those who can't skin, can hold a leg. Abraham Lincoln

Only one war at a time. Abe Again.