You can't make this stuff up.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/australiaandt...ght-I-would-die.html


Trouser snake man: I thought I would die
By Nick Squires in Sydney
Last Updated: 12:30PM BST 11/06/2008
An Australian man who survived being bitten on the penis by a deadly snake while relieving himself in the bush described how he was convinced he was going to die.

Daryl Zutt was on a pig hunting and fishing trip with a friend in northern Queensland when he pulled over by the side of the road.

Crouching down to answer nature's call, he felt a sharp sting to his manhood. Moments later he saw a brown snake – one of the world's most venomous species – slither out from between his legs.

Mr Zutt, a carpenter from Cairns, has since been bombarded with jokes about trouser snakes, but he said at the time he thought his life was about to end.

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"I thought I was gone. I thought, 'Maybe, this is it. Maybe, I'm gonna cark it'.

"I squatted down – I reckon I must have nearly sat on his head," he said.

"As soon as I felt it, I yelled. It really hurt. When it happened, I knew in the back of my mind it was a snake. I seen him coming out from between my legs.

"He got me about halfway down. I saw fang marks and a bit of blood come out."

Mr Zutt said he used a cold can of rum and coke to help soothe the pain, and rang his mother on a mobile phone to say a final goodbye.

Details of the almost fatal encounter were revealed by The Cairns Post a fortnight ago but at the time the victim's identity was not known.

It was only today that Mr Zutt decided to come forward and recount his close encounter on the rugged and sparsely populated Cape York Peninsula.

He shouted out to his mate, who drove him to the nearby settlement of Lakeland to find medical help.

By the time the pair arrived, Mr Zutt felt nauseous and had stomach cramps. "I couldn't talk properly. I was tongue-tied," he told The Cairns Post.

He was treated by a paramedic and taken to hospital in nearby Cooktown, named after Capt James Cook.

Tests revealed that although the snake had drawn blood, its venom had not entered his system.

He said the jokes started as soon as his mates knew he was going to be alright.

"They've been saying things like 'It was a trouser snake fight' and 'He [the snake] saw the competition and got scared'".

The common brown snake has the second most potent venom of any land snake, after the inland taipan, also found in Australia.

About 3,000 Australians are bitten by snakes each year, but on average there are only one or two deaths because most victims receive antivenom.

I think this should win Saeed's hunting story contest! In fact, I nominate it as the best hunting story ever. How could it ever be topped?

Apparently he was heard yelling at the doctors

"FOR CHRIST SAKE TAKE AWAY THE PAIN.....but leave the swelling"

Even a lifelong buddy wouldn't have sucked out the poison on that one!!

The sheep weren't challenging enough, I guess. Not the smartest fellah, but you have to give him credit for trying!

Man gets bitten on the dick by a snake


His hunting partner rushes to the ute, gets on the two way radio and calls the flying doctor.


"Hey Doc, my mate has been bitten by a snake, what should I do?

Doc
"Make a small cut on the wound and suck the poison out!"


Man
"What if I don't do that?"

Doc
"Your friend will die!"


Man goes back to his friend.

Friend
"What did the Doc say?"

Man
"He said you are going to die!!!"

Oldy but a goldy.

Trouser snake = spitting cobra.

quote:

Originally posted by calgarychef1:
Even a lifelong buddy wouldn't have sucked out the poison on that one!!

That would depend, If they had been hunting Brokeback mountain together for many years,it would be nothin new to them.