What in the heck is a WANKER?

17 October 2002, 13:04

Mike375

urdubob

To "wank" = to masturbate.

However, in 99.99% percent of cases when the word Wanker is used it means a person who is a deadshit, useless, hopeless etc. Can also mean the person is talking a lot of shit, not as in bullshit but rather there opinions. It is also uses as an acceptable (fro TV and radio) version of you are a wanker = you are a fucking idiot.

Don't know about England, but in Australia "wanker" is most often used when talking "about" someone rather than "to" someone.

Mike

17 October 2002, 13:23

Pete E

Mike,

Nope, we call it to their face too! [Big Grin]

Another more "acceptable" alternative is "tosser"

Pete

17 October 2002, 13:29

urdubob

Hummmmm, Good thing he is a friend. You have any good names I can call him back.

urdubob

17 October 2002, 13:36

Mike375

urdubob,

Again, not sure about England but in Australia "wanker" is a much broader term than "fucking idiot". In other words a rifle built by a gunsmith who was a "fucking idiot" might be a good gun but a gunsmith who was a "wanker" would have to be avoided at all costs.

Your friend might have also used "wanker" as in "don't be a wanker"

Mike

17 October 2002, 13:52

urdubob

I hit him with this the other day:

Q: Why don't the Brits make computers?

A: They have'nt found a way to make them leak oil, yet.

Come on guys.... give me some brit Jokes or gigs.

urdubob

17 October 2002, 16:50

Mark

Why do the brits drink warm beer?

Their refrigerators are made by lucas

18 October 2002, 03:12

King Baboon

Not only England is an island, but each Englishman is an island himself [Big Grin]

REMEMBER JOAN OF ARC [Frown]

18 October 2002, 04:14

dan belisle

In my mis-spent youth my brother and I owned various British cars and motorcycles (I still miss that 650 Tiger), and they all had two things in common. They would all leak oil, and their electric systems were designed by Lucas; "Prince Of Darkness". What do you call a Brit who knows how to cook and make love? A Frenchman in disguise. - Dan

18 October 2002, 04:15

dan belisle

Oh, and here in the great white north, a wanker is a way of calling someone a dick. - Dan

18 October 2002, 08:31

Pete E

Hey, call yourselves engineers! It does not "leak oil"; it vents excessive oil pressure to protect the seals! [Roll Eyes]

18 October 2002, 08:36

Edmond

a british couple is making love , the woman looking at the ceiling with wide opened eyes winks . the husband: did I hurt you, Dear ? wife: No Dear, why? husband :you moved...

18 October 2002, 10:07

dan belisle

Good one Pete. LOL - Dan

22 October 2002, 16:44

NitroX

Urdubob

"some british Guy called me this (wanker) I did know if I needed to hit him or shake his hand?"

If you do shake his hand make sure you wipe off your hand first. [Big Grin]

Apologies to any British members here - he asked for it!

What's the best thing about England?
Answer: It is next to (continental) Europe.
(if speaking to a "pom" you can leave out the continental bit as many there believe they aren't part of Europe anyway)

What's the definition of an Englishman?
Answer: A convict that was never caught.
(I used to use this as a re-tort when I was called a convict or Australians called convicts by some arsehole. Used to make a lot of friends this way)

A fairly mild English insult is to call him a "pratt".

Australians sometimes use the the insult "pommy bastards". If you use this term your friend will know you have been talking to an Aussie.

If they are Welsh, Scottish or Northern Irish, keep refering to them as English or their country as England.

I am sure I could think up more but probably am already in trouble [Roll Eyes]

22 October 2002, 18:08

waksupi

A wanker is also related to the term wenis, which is a wee penis.

23 October 2002, 05:58

<JOHAN>

quote:
Originally posted by urdubob:
some british Guy called me this I did know if I needed to hit him or shake his hand?

Yes,

Popular stuff carries many names. Breaking your rod or spank the monkey. Wanking it the same thing [Big Grin]

Once, out fishing. A girl asked me if I ever had broken a rod. I didn't knew what to say, first. I asked her, if she ever had gotten hooked on fishing [Eek!]

If a girl is asking, don't hit her. If it's a guy, hit him. Either an ass picker or trouble maker [Big Grin]

Cheers
/ JOHAN

[ 10-22-2002, 21:00: Message edited by: JOHAN ]

24 October 2002, 19:13

JohnTheGreek

RE: oil leaks

My buddy actually had his Land Rover mechanic refer to his rear main seal leak as "Technical seepage" [Big Grin]

I mean, it was like he was trying to make it sound useful somehow ! !

JohnTheGreek

24 October 2002, 19:39

Matt Norman

The reason the British were so motivated to have an Empire was because they were looking for something good to eat [Big Grin]

25 October 2002, 00:04

Bad Ass Wallace

A bloody pommie bastard once told me that a "Yankee" was like a "Quicky" but you do it with yourself.
He musta been a right royal wanker.

25 October 2002, 20:39

<Matt77>

If a brit called me a wanker and made the hand sign, I'd have to displace his already messed up teeth.

26 October 2002, 08:17

Saeed

Gentlemen,

Years ago, I called a friend's house, and his wife, who did not speak English very well, answered the phone.

Me: "Hello Mary, may I speak to Harold please?"

Wife: "Saeed, hello. he is aaah he is aaahh how you say? Aaahh?"

I could not help it so I said: "He is wanking"

Wife: "Yes Saeed, he is wanking!"
Me: "Thank you very much, I will call later."

I called this man's boss, and asked him to call his wife and asked where her husband was.

The boss: "Hello Mary, where is Harold?"
Wife: "Mohamed, he is wanking!"

The boss calls Harold, and says : "Hello wanker!"

Harold: "Why are you calling me a wanker?"

Boss: "That is what your wife is telling you are doing!"

Mary was looking for the the word "working"!
As you can imagine, both Mary and myself got into hot water.

26 October 2002, 09:02

griff

hey you guys steady on!! just cos our intrepid leader is all of the above (tony blair),is no reason to tar us all with the same brush.
Wanker: someone who is unable to attract the opposite sex,and has to revert to self gratification.
sex is good for two but bad for one!!!!

griff

27 October 2002, 03:41

dan belisle

Funny, Saeed, very funny. LOL - Dan

27 October 2002, 17:11

<zasgar>

27 October 2002, 20:55

griff

EXCELLENT PICTURE!!!
He's not definitely not left handed!!!

Griff

31 October 2002, 22:52

NitroX

Saeed

Aahh now I understand.

That is why you said you only "work" 10 minutes each day.

He he he [Big Grin]

Stop it or you'll go blind!

[ 10-31-2002, 13:52: Message edited by: NitroX ]

24 November 2002, 06:34

Saeed

NiroX,

We have delegated Walter to do all our "wanking" as I have stated previously, his wife made him an "official wanker" [Big Grin]

24 November 2002, 09:21

gryphon

i`m a male hence i have been a wanker all my life--just like the rest of you guys hahahaa

25 November 2002, 09:36

rudie

Well I guess if there is a way to insult a friend & still ask him how he is doing here it goes ..... Some South-African humor.

Hey u constapatd , dehydratd , 2 faced fucked up mother fucking , sheep shagin ass wipin faggot face mongolian spit bubble hangin from a donkeyz dick .... How the hell are you

Please take this one with a pinch of salt

Rudie