Mensa Warriors!

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A mate of mine has just told me he's shagging his girlfriend and her twin. I said "How can you tell them apart?" He said "Her brother's got a moustache!"

20 August 2018, 13:13

Saeed

Might as well have given them instructions DO IT BETTER NEXT TIME!

20 August 2018, 13:44

Bakes

Pretty much mate. The mind boggles.

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A mate of mine has just told me he's shagging his girlfriend and her twin. I said "How can you tell them apart?" He said "Her brother's got a moustache!"

20 August 2018, 14:29

Saeed

Many years ago some kid stole my water skis from my boat.

A few days later, I saw those skis being used to pull a skier behind a very small boat.

I got in boat and chased them.

The driver of the boat - obviously recognizing the boat he stole the skis from - beached the boat and ran off.

The skier had no idea what was happening.

I took the boat and towed it about a mile off shore, unplugged the rear end, sat there for the water to get in, once the end, weighed by the engine, started to go down, I left it.

I bet it was underwater by the time I got back to shore.

And I bet that bastard would never steal again!

20 August 2018, 15:24

Bakes

Artificial fishing reef, I like it.

When I was at school, my watch was stolen from my bag as I did PT. I reported it and thought I'd never see it again. Later that day whilst in English class, the deputy principle walked in with a kid in tow. He put my watch on my desk, placed the kid in front of the class and said "This is the person who stole your watch" and walked out leaving him standing there.

I never saw that kid after her walked out of the class in all my time at that school. I reckon he was terrified every day he came to school

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A mate of mine has just told me he's shagging his girlfriend and her twin. I said "How can you tell them apart?" He said "Her brother's got a moustache!"

20 August 2018, 18:44

Grizzly Adams

quote:
Originally posted by Bakes:
Steal a 75,000 pound car and get a suspended sentence

21 century idea of Justice.

Grizz

Indeed, no human being has yet lived under conditions which, considering the prevailing climates of the past, can be regarded as normal. John E Pfeiffer, The Emergence of Man

Those who can't skin, can hold a leg. Abraham Lincoln

Only one war at a time. Abe Again.

18 May 2019, 07:50

robncolorado

What’s really sad is scrolling down the DailyMail and reading about the animal that strapped his 3 year old daughter in her car seat then torched the car while she was burned alive.......

18 May 2019, 08:17

NormanConquest

That should'nt even go to court. He should be taken out + shot like any mad dog.

11 October 2019, 03:56

BuffHunter63

quote:
Originally posted by Saeed:
Many years ago some kid stole my water skis from my boat.

A few days later, I saw those skis being used to pull a skier behind a very small boat.

I got in boat and chased them.

The driver of the boat - obviously recognizing the boat he stole the skis from - beached the boat and ran off.

The skier had no idea what was happening.

I took the boat and towed it about a mile off shore, unplugged the rear end, sat there for the water to get in, once the end, weighed by the engine, started to go down, I left it.

I bet it was underwater by the time I got back to shore.

And I bet that bastard would never steal again!

That’s a fitting punishment (unless the boat was stolen as well).

BH63

11 October 2019, 09:53

NormanConquest

Concerning theft + justice; back in the 70s when the CB radio craze was big I had a buddy that worked for Santa Fe Railroad in Houston. He was constantly getting his CBs stolen out of his pickup + the alarms were a joke, all they did was keep you up all night resetting, etc. Doug finally had enough + on his new CB radio, he brazed treble hooks on the back. OH YES! The next morning he did have one hung up under the dash. He wasn't going anywhere. Happy ending, Doug beaned him with a Louisville slugger then cut the barbs off flush with the fingertips + left him in the parking lot + went to work.