I have a question, but I'm not sure how to ask so anyone else will recognize what I'm asking about.

So here goes. I have very small hands. When I grasp my 1858 Remington, thumb cocking is more difficult for me than thumb cocking my Freedom Arms Model 97 or my Uberti Colt SAA clone in 45 Colt. For me the Remington's grip is farther from its hammer spur than both of the others.

Does anyone else with small hands notice this? If what think is happening is, in fact, accurate, any suggestions on how to adjust my Remington to bring its thumb cocking to the ease of the others?

Some judicious relaxing of the hammer spring may help your situation. Regarding the physical dimension issue, you may want to investigate having the hammer spur bent towards the rear to ease with access.

Otherwise, it's a matter of grasping the revolver in such a manner that both thumbs are engaged in cocking the firearm.