I had a gray cat in my possum trap this morning. It had two collars on but no bell. I've seen this big cat around before, once covering cat crap in my seedling bed, where I start my catnip plants. I just could make out the collar tag that indicated "foossy" lived about ten blocks away in a more upscale neighborhood a little closer to the center of town. Well a few drops of starting ether put it to sleep so I could get it out to take measurements just like the pros do with grizzlies. Records, you know. My little extra touch with collared ferals is to stick their little paws in some awful sticky ink to take prints, then grease them up fair with natural pine tar, and in this case, apply just a few drops of "OLD TIME TRAPPER"S SUPPLY" pure skunk scent just before releasing foossy a half block from home. I met her ownewrs once. They might lock their cat door in the future so foossy stays home from now on.

You forgot to use the neon electric hair dyes first? Before the skonk juice?


Dan

Pres., TYHC

http://www.Electric.Ladyland

Kool-aid is a cheap and efficient short term dye,,Paul harvey says all the little twerps are using it to color thier hair those funky colors.Ned,,Did you leave the dog tags on so they could be shure that train wreck was actually thiers?,,,Peace and roadkill grease!!Clay

If it was me, I would shave it bald and force feed it exlax..

Then release it a block from home!


HTRN

It would not have left my trap alive, I don't care if they have collars on them, all cats die!!

Now just a dang minutiae here. Regular colored cats are bad enough. I don't want no e'stinkin' boy george cats around.

But Ned, don't you see that a BG crat might be just the ticket for luring Birman out of hiding? I remain firmly convinced he is from San Fran, and his tails of procreation are but a facade.

Realizing of course that a rainbow colored pussy my cause social upheaval in the Carolina hills, but still it might be worth a try.

Dan

Pres., TYHC

http://www.BirmansLightIn.TheSocks

A couple of bored and rightous dudes I know were one day discussing the viability of ethering a Grizz that was hanging around their camp on the North Coast here in BC. They then figured that it could be dolled up in many tree making colours and then whilest still in la-la land, given as a present of appreciation to the deserving sailors aboard the Greenpeace ship Rainbow Warrior. derf

quote:

Realizing of course that a rainbow colored pussy....

...whoa. Thought I was in the midst of a bad / good pre-marriage flashback there.

You guys gotta watch them words. Never know what might set us psychos off.

Mr. Crowrifle, life is like a box of chocolates, and a river runs thru it. You ever dance with the devil in the pale moonlight?

Dan

Pres., TYHC

http://www.Heres.Johnny!

Most anything rainbow colored causes a social upheaval around here. Even deadheads have to be discreet.

NS,

I know this will sound like some work, but I think it would be worth the effort.

While puss is in lala land. Clip the crats fur short and dye blond, remove collar, and apply skunk #3 perfume. Just before releasing near its regular feeding station (home) apply turpinetine to starter (%) and release. Should look like a rabid stray to its keeper. This will turn them too, against said crat.

Hog Killer

ps: If crat is already light colored, then dye black.

quote:

You ever dance with the devil in the pale moonlight?

There was that one time just after I ate those little mushrooms...

She was probably wrapped around a brass pole in a smoky, dark place with loud music playing, smelling of stale beer farts.

NS, you say that as if it were a bad thing. I consider it an act of kindness to help those fallen angels when ever possible.

Some of the cats I been catching have been pretty mangy, and a few were pampered pets. But I sent them all to the same place neveretheless.

Into the treechipper?


HTRN

Throwing a cat into a chipper is cruel to me, even though the death is instantaneous. That kind of shit is Saddam-esque and we as Americans are light-years above that filth. Shoot them if you must, but no tree chippers.

Fine

Anybody got a steamroller?


HTRN

That is something Castro would do and probably still does. He'd have the victim buried up to his shoulders in the dirt then run over his protruding head with a steamroller, assumably in public to keep the natives in line. I hope God takes special care of such beasts like Castro, Mao, Pol Pot, Saddam, Stalin, Hitler and any number of other animals when they stand before Him on Judgment Day.

Uhm, wrong forum dude - the "ignorance crater" is a few doors down.


HTRN

It is a natural truth that "CATS are not PEOPLE". Instant death is just that, instant.