since we have converted a great many of your kind to gentle servants, birman has decided to allow me this one time offer.

set aside your arms and accept cats as your rightful masters. adopt 2 or more into your homes. keep them well until their natural lifespan expires. allow them to roam and breed as nature intended. think, commit, and allow no evil to befall them or their offspring.

do this, and we shall spare your home the wrath that is to come.

some of you are exempt from this offer. your crimes against catdom are too heinous. you are guilty of crimes against felines, and will be hunted down like the humans you are. there is no escape.

think about our offer. it will not last long, and will not be repeated.

you want foot in face? dis arm!

See my post under Hallmark Moment.

Mr. Second Fiddre cat, you numba 1 sirry cat! HA! Dien que dao! Li ret Ninja Joe bouncer have way with you soon! Srice srice, prop prop, this is how make pussy nice. HA HA!!!

quote:

Reply

Uh? Can I order some Mew Goo XO to go with fried rice, paw rolls, and spring vegetable?

Your Offer:

quote:

Originally posted by BIRMAN'S XO:
set aside your arms and accept cats as your rightful masters. adopt 2 or more into your homes. keep them well until their natural lifespan expires. allow them to roam and breed as nature intended. think, commit, and allow no evil to befall them or their offspring.

do this, and we shall spare your home the wrath that is to come.

My Counteroffer:



Toolmaker

I confess I have adopted 2 cats .....Yeah one for each foot in the style of mocisons Toasty warm & they'll stay in the house for the term of their unnatural life!

Gotta love "kick slippers"


Toolmaker

Cats .... natural targets. Keeps you in practice for real hunting. No one ever owns a cat. Its all an illusion.

quote:

No one ever owns a cat.

I dunno, this guy looks like he "owned" that cat...


Toolmaker

That guy needs to cook it first. Real men don't eat crat sushi.

Dan

Pres., TYHC

http://www.Yeah.AndCleanItToo!

I bet a Scout Pilot could have swallowed it whole without chewing!!! derf

toolmaker, you are among the lost ones. we ask nor grant any quarter with your type.

old elk hunter, you impress me with your wisdom, misdirected though it is. indeed, we are never owned. we allow the illusion for the purpose of infiltrating your ranks, embedding in your midst, and overwhelming your species. we are the masters in the household. accept it, and end this wasteful conflict. or else.

quote:

accept it, and end this wasteful conflict. or else.

WHAT??????????????????????????

Toolmaker,

That image of the young guy with the kitten in his mouth makes me wonder if his older brother told him that it was fun to eat pussy and the young guy took him literally. I don't think you could post the picture of the pussy the older brother was referring to.

quote:

Originally posted by DigitalDan:
That guy needs to cook it first. Real men don't eat crat sushi.

Dan

We have different opinions here, Sir.

quote:

Originally posted by BIRMAN'S XO:
toolmaker, you are among the lost ones. we ask nor grant any quarter with your type.

.

Lost? You have no idea. I feel a great swell of pity for you. You and your ilk will have to deal with HIM. And by "deal" I mean "die in shocking numbers"...

You cannot negotiate with HIM.
You cannot stop HIM.
You cannot slow HIM down.
The only thing your kind can do is die from HIM.

My only regret is I won't see it...


Toolmaker.

i fear no redneck. none.

quote:

Originally posted by BIRMAN'S XO:
i fear no redneck. none.

Then you are either suicidal or a fool.


Toolmaker

I AM NEITHER. YOUR OVERCONFIDENCE PLAYS WELL INTO MY PLANS. FEEL FREE TO SLLEP SOUNDLY. WE ARE WATCHING YOU VERY CLOSELY. A PLAN IS FORMING. IT IS GOOD.

quote:

A PLAN IS FORMING. IT IS GOOD.

No plan survives the first contact with the enemy.

I suggest that you practice your sprinting. It will come in handy.

BIRMAN'S XO,
I had the pleasure of re-training one of your troops.
He was a lil' chubby at first, but I got him down to fightin' weight.

But cats are so much fun to shoot .

Johnch

I've seen uglier cats PT, but none of so ugly a color. N.S.

quote:

Originally posted by BIRMAN'S XO:
I AM NEITHER. YOUR OVERCONFIDENCE PLAYS WELL INTO MY PLANS. FEEL FREE TO SLLEP SOUNDLY. WE ARE WATCHING YOU VERY CLOSELY. A PLAN IS FORMING. IT IS GOOD.

Overconfident? Perhaps, in the same way when Godzilla stolled into the ginza district.

The Japanese military had a plan too. Of course, it didn't work and toyko got flattened anyway.

Your continued hope that HIM is an enemy that can be dealt with shows a sign of insanity.

Only five more to go....


Toolmaker

Ladies and Gentlemen! Since Birman’s XO very soon will turn into dog sh*t, I think it is time for him to get used to this transformation awaiting him. I thus suggest that we should rename him Turdman XL.

If he's lucky he'll be converted to animal waste.

If not well...

Only four more to go folks..


Toolmaker

quote:

but none of so ugly a color

I like the vision of "Translucent Liver."(sp)

Tea Bag Crat.

quote:

Only four more to go folks..

TM, give us a sketch or somethin' here.
Four days,don't tease.

The Toolmaker is gone.

A Crat killing monster has taken his place.

I think I'll start by skinning Birman, as an example to the rest of them...


HTRN

my leader birman is safe from the likes of you. you will have to go through me to catch him. you will not survive the encounter. birman is safe. i am safe. you are not.

i fear no redneck. at a time and place of my choosing, you will discover why.

Hey Turdman XL you silly little hairball. Look here what had for lunch tha other day. The picture is from a "Missing - Reward" sign on the other side of the road. They were crunchy.



Now I will find, kill and eat their mother. She escpaed up a tree last time. She will have no such luck this time. Soon I will eat you as well.

Herro Mr. Snap. You have beau coup ears sir. Li think you hear good. Is true?
Li say cook cat longer time, make tender. No crunch. Try, you rike! Li no rie Mr. Snap.
You rike go Anamite Mountain hunt tyger cat with Dragon Lady? This one carr himself Birman Second Fiddre, he not worth time except you want warm up. That what you do?

quote:

Originally posted by HTRN:
The Toolmaker is gone.

A Crat killing monster has taken his place.

I think I'll start by skinning Birman, as an example to the rest of them...


HTRN

See Birman I tried to warn you but you refused to listen!
Him is not just any redneck He is a cooldblooded crat killer with hate for all felions big or small. HIM was dormant for a period of time but your errant threats awoke HIM and now it's time for you to say goodnight M.r XO because HIM will not stop until you are terriyaki crat on a stick in Li's buffet line!

quote:

Originally posted by Dragon Lady:
Herro Mr. Snap. You have beau coup ears sir. Li think you hear good. Is true?
Li say cook cat longer time, make tender. No crunch. Try, you rike! Li no rie Mr. Snap.
You rike go Anamite Mountain hunt tyger cat with Dragon Lady? This one carr himself Birman Second Fiddre, he not worth time except you want warm up. That what you do?

Yes Ma'm, I hear well and my sense of smell is very good indeed. And I like them crunchy, perhaps your costumers don't?

I should be delighted to hunt with you any day, Ma'm.

Hi folks! Although I am 1.7 light years away on the USS Vaginal I have been monitoring your entries . I have been working very hard on a Tuna Cloaking device that I am sure will do James in for good . I also have been watching my good friend Turtle with his new bud one DR Kratz! Yes that’s right ladies and gents… DR KRATZ! Your turtle and him together! HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! Well Dannoe? What do think now? Well Craybuster…. . wait…. That accent is coming back…….. Dlagon Rady you bitch ! You have infectioned me. No matter just a shot of wired Tulkey will fix this . Well boys. Its baby munching time and the Quail are just right .
To the bowl with me. ( I think wild turkey is what I need )
Birman

I suppose, Birman, that that sweet aftertaste you taste when you eat your next can of tuna tastes suspiciously like antifreeze?

Naaaah, that couldn't be it. Just keep eating. Soon you will be very, very tired, and those strange lights you will begin to see will keep you company....

Birman's XO,

Ok, I agree to accept cats as my master. Send them all over and I will bow down .... as I reach for my Beretta to start the slaughter. Each pulse of the recoil will be like a sexual climax as I watch the POS cats disintegrate. Our creator made me highly allergic to them for a reason.... so I would help him remove one of his mistakes.

You are a little late on one thing - the next stage began when they invented gun powder.

May only be my opinion OEH, But I would rather be bowing down and reaching for the clacker to my claymores! derf