guys, I ran into this the other day... an exerpt from a cats diary. Thought you would find interest in it...

Day 183 of my captivity . . . My captors continued to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from clawing the furniture.

Tomorrow I may eat another house plant. Today my attempt to kill my captors, by weaving around their feet while they were walking, almost succeeded - must try this at the top of the stairs. In an attempt todisgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair - must try this on their bed.

Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body in an attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear in their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little cat I was. Hmmm, not working according to plan . . .

There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in solitary throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise and smell the food. More important, I overheard that my confinement was
due to my powers of inducing "allergies." Must learn what this is and consider how to use it.

I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is obviously a half-wit. The bird, on the other hand, has got to be an informant and speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his current placement in the metal room, his safety is assured...for now. But I can wait, it is only a matter of time . . .

Day 184: I am scattered across the hearth of the fireplace, it is getting very cold. I pissed on the keyboard of their computer and the last words I heard were, "Oh Yeah? Well piss on this!", followed by a clap of thunder that lifted me off my fuzzy little paws. Must remember to not do that again.

Dan

Pres., TYHC

http://www.WhatIsThisThingWith.TwoLongTubesThatBelchFire?

Sounds like 2 of our little darlings yesterday. Frigging puke and hairballs all over the place. Mother had to pin the large black one down to keep her from running onto the carpet to finish. derf

quote:

Originally posted by DigitalDan:
Day 184: I am scattered across the hearth of the fireplace, it is getting very cold. I pissed on the keyboard of their computer and the last words I heard were, "Oh Yeah? Well piss on this!", followed by a clap of thunder that lifted me off my fuzzy little paws. Must remember to not do that again.

Dan

Pres., TYHC

PS: There was something metal and shiny hit the floor right after that clap of thunder. It is shaped like the bottles my captors drink from, but it is a little smaller. The marks are on the bottom not the side, thats strange. It has 416 RIGBY

HAR HAR HAR! One of those "Special" moments. Ya think a 400 grain Interbond will penetrate a rock hearth?

Dan

Pres., TYHC

http://www.Slammin.Splatzen

it is just as well. allowing details of our plans and tactics to fall into the hands of our enemy is a capital crime. if you have not spared me the burden, i would have been forced to make a similar example of this fool myself.

at least in his passing some good came. the mess and damage from your foolish weapons will do enough damage for youto remember this day for years. next time you will think twice, or i will send a few hundred warriors to scratch out your eyes and infest you with diseases of unimaginable discomfort.

XO, I had my shots already, your diseases do not frighten me. Are you ready for your shots pussy willow?

Dr. Dan

Pres., TYHC

http://www.AShotADay.KeepsSickPussyAtBay

even you, digital dan, are beginning to feel the weight of our offensive. i notice that youare becoming fixated with sticking out your tongue. very catlike. our plans are working, soon you will be a convert too. or dinner, i am hungry.

fetch me some tuna or i will chew off another of your fingers.

hisssssssssss

quote:

i will chew off another of your fingers.

Cheap threats little "i". I laugh at your threats, poop on your dreams oh little fluff of mendacity. Come to me so that I may practice my kung fu on you. I too know how to Kill Bill, and must know if it works on crats, even those as lowly as yourself. Remember little "i", pride goeth before the fall.


Grand Master Dan

Pres., TYHC

http://www.Redneck.Zen

Let him rant..

I have... A PLAN.

A cruel and vicious plan..A plan so cruel, that if Attila the Hun were alive today he would say "Dude, that's a bit much".. A plan so vicious it would have put Vlad the impaler off his lunch...

So Birman & Company:


HTRN

Day 185 of my captivity... I woke this morning with a terrible headache. I notice fresh blood and then realize it was my own. I looked for the captors to get revenge. After no luck I head on to the neighbors and crap in his flowerbeds so his baby son will play in the fecal matter. This makes me hungry. Alas! a fresh can of Friskies! Slam! It's a trap! Neighbor guy then takes me for a ride where he gives me some medicine for my headache. The last thing I remember is the syringe wasn't sharp! It didn't look like a syringe at all... Click.