No, not a death in the family. Not mine anyway. One of my neighbors has taken to letting their Tommy roam, and I have taken the occasion to not intervene. It prowls past a weekender's house, sprays his new Honda 4-wheeler each time it passes, and has finally taken the bold step of visiting my place. Well, first it pissed on my truck tire, and night before last I watched it puzzling over the smell of old shrimp in the trash cans. Well, I must decide which level of ballistic science and withcraft I wish to use on this one. On one level is the gun of choice, on the other there is the disposal. I haven't mentioned this to Big Al and the boys; you see there is a Hummer in the 'hood, and I'm thinking that during the start it makes so much racket that the sound of it digesting a crat might not be noticed right away. There's got to be a lot of strong vee- belts under the hood of one of those. Now that I consider it, since the crat and the Hummer belong to the same party...

Dan

Pres., TYHC

www.BigBad.Diesel

Keep us posted.

Photos please! Wedge that POS up in the belts and then wait for the action shots. Take along a breaker bar and a 5/8's six point socket
to reachup up along the front of the engine to get to the belt tensioner. Release some tension and put the cat's tail between the belt and
a pulley. This should be a classic case of letting someone else do your dirty work! The minimum effect will be a tailess cat.
PHOTOS, PHOTOS, PHOTOS!

Dan,

If you cannot get said crat into the above Hummer. How about the 416, with a paper patched, 38 spec. 148gr HBWC (inverted of course). Should be pink mist over the lawn.

Hog Killer

I really belive this is a job for the 25-20 so far as weapon of choice
But I must protest That no good will come from depriving the "BOYS" of a free feed!!!!!If the word were to get out!I fe

Whoops pressed the wrong key !
As I have said if the Boy's found out you were holding out on them I fear That a ....Visit from BIG AL & the BOYS would be on the cards !
Thus bringing new meaning to the meaning of PENDING TRAGEDY

Well, I certainly will keep you posted as events unfold. This must be carefully thought out or I will be captured and probably drawn and quartered. Photos if I can, honest injun!

OEH, you sound as if you have KNOWLEDGE of the inner working of the Humvee? From the underside, best point of access for the wrench? Left, right, front? Never been under the hood of a Hummer, though there have been some Hummers in my past. Under the hood as it were.

DoK, funny you mention all that. Maybe back before you joined us I related a tale about Li'l Bob, in fact I have some pics from that time, when he briefly eschewed fresh grouper scraps in favor of blood flavored ice balls from the cooler. Chomp chomp. Well, I know he's a little retarded and all but Clay expressed the thought that he just liked Smoothies, or Slurpies or whatever you'd call them down under. I figure to collect the scraps as a neighborly gesture of friendship after the fact. You know, "Gee, I'm so sorry for your loss, let me remove the remains for you."

I got to go sharpen the blades on the blender!

Dan

Pres., TYHC

www.RonCoMatic.SmoothieShooter

I am just a bit sneakier and a little more devious than that and have a suggestion for getting to the Hummer owner as well as this pissycat! You get a tin of cheap sardines(I can't help it, I'm a Scot!) and a disposable syringe. Suck up the sardine juice into the syringe and then sneak over to the other guys place well after dark and squirt the juice through the radiator and onto the engine. Most of the bait, uhh juice, will land on the front of the engine and belts.
This will require a little scout work but I know you are equal to that task and if caught in the act you can't be charged with unlawful entry(as you would for opening the hood which likely has an inside release).
Also remember guys, pictures can and will be held against you in a court of law! derf

The photo you showed before was an H2, a psuedo-hummer. Most of the H2 is just plain chevy pickup truck equipment. Another use for the syringe is to cure the owner of the H2 of any liking for cats. Inject cat piss through the door weatherstripping before a hot day. The owner will assume the cat did the deed and may take out the cat himself saving you a bullet and a bit of fun.

This technique can also be used to get people in trouble. Injecting a small amount of perfume into a guy's car will get him into all kinds of trouble with his wife/girlfriend. Inject SO3 (sulphur tri-oxide) and the vehicle will stink of extremely rotten eggs forever. You can let your imagination run with the possibilities such as all the attractent lures at the local sporting goods store. Some guy pisses you off and you inject doe-in-heat into the cab of his truck. Revenge by a thinking man is so much better than just busting the guys chops. He always wonders if it was you but he can't prove it if you do the injection discreetly. Find some scents and go forward and screw some one over!

Cat piss into the heater intake is much nastier! derf

quote:

Originally posted by derf:
Cat piss into the heater intake is much nastier! derf

Who could forgive that, oh well as long as your not to blame WHO CARES.

derf, not to sweat, I got a bunch of aces up my sleeves. I do like the idea of the sardine oil, but it may require that I wait for cooler weather. Don't know if I have that much patience.

Dan

Pres., TYHC

www.Good.Advice

Sardine oil on the engine should work any time of the year. Crats are curious critters and will even investigate skunk stink! derf

derf, I know what you're thinkin', and up there you'd be right. Down here we got these things called fire ants. You gotta take all this stuff into consideration here in the tropics.

Tell y'all what I'm gonna do. First off, I'm going to get some skunk scent and pull the live trap out of the storage unit. After they get over that little disaster I'll hafta use gunpowder I guess, it's a sure thing the crat won't fall for the same trick twice. I figure to get all the fun out of this one I can, crats being a bit scarce here in Yankeetown and all.

Dan

Pres., TYHC

www.MyTruckNever.PissedOnYourCrat

quote:

Moderators

There you go. You say that for some reason cats are scarce in Yankeetown. It happened here too last year. People laughed when I started the N.C. home for lost pussies in my old rabbit hutches. But now I have worldwide sales for Derf's brand CAT in HEAT lure and TOM attractant ($U.S. 27/ oz.) and lots of local restaurant sales business too. Do you want some franchise information Dan? It might be just what is needed to take care of that pesky cat sneaking around. Put some of that stuff right on the front cowling between the wiper blades and your neighbor will convert from the cat side.

Yes indeedy NS, send me a case or two! I have friends scattered across this state who are also in a state of frustration regarding crats. I think the whole thing is about to reach critical mass...

Dan

Pres., TYHC

http://www.TheForcesMarshall.ForBattle

quote:

Originally posted by DigitalDan:
Yes indeedy NS, send me a case or two! I have friends scattered across this state who are also in a state of frustration regarding crats. I think the whole thing is about to reach critical mass...

Dan

Pres., TYHC

http://www.TheForcesMarshall.ForBattle

If you all would just improve your shooting skills there would be no critical mass issues.

Those new Savannah Crats with their greater body mass might prove to be of interest to the shop keepers as well. derf

Looks like there is no way out of this mess now. A direct challenge to the quality of cat marksMANship of various standers by appears to have been uttered in print. As soon as I can think up a big one, er, I mean, remember a great story of aiming & hitting, I'll start a new line.

quote:

If you all would just improve your shooting skills there would be no critical mass issues.

Annie, I can do 3" offhand at 100 yd., how good do I have to be?

Dan

Pres., TYHC

http://www.ThatsWithA.ThirtyEightBlindfolded

How big is the tail pipe on a Hummer? Ever see Beverly Hills Cop? Think Crat instead.

Haven't you guys heard what a couple of paracetamol tablets in a bowl of milk does ? Goodnight permanently.

OEH, just for clarification, the H2 pic in the hole is NOT the Humvee I'm talking about. There certainly is a difference. Do like the perfume idea though, I know his lady never wears any.

Dan

Pres., TYHC

http://www.DieselExhaust.Cannon

DD, if you are going to be using a live trap, may I suggest a srong, clear poly bag and a shop vac? A good one should be capable of 20" of vacuum or so. You can set up a video camera to record the results, and snap some still shots.
I wonder what kitty will think when he feels the pressure drop?
Kitty disposal by gator sound very effective, too.
I tossed a couple in one of our test cells, when the afterburner of a new GE F414 (SuperHornet) lights off, there just ain't a hell of a lot left. I got a much better result while testing T700's (Apache, BlackHawk)