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Birmans XO Plans Doomed

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10 August 2005, 21:28
derf
Birmans XO Plans Doomed
After consulting with my little cat she has told me that niether she nor her 2 roommates nor her sister and her roommate are interested in giving up their soft easy life to join some ragtag, limp tailed army that is doomed from the start anyway!
It is obvious that there are way too many "Happy Cats" and "Fat Cats" to support the mislaid plans of Birmans XO.
Tough titty furball,and the milks gone sour too! Big Grin derf


Quando Omni Flunkus Moritati
10 August 2005, 21:48
johnch
lol


NRA life
Delta
Pheasants Forever
DU
Hunt as if your life depended on your results
10 August 2005, 21:51
poletax
Ditto Derf.
My crat told me that XO tried to coerce him into givin up his air conditioned abode.Wet food in the morning and all the dry food and table scraps he can handle.His litter box is changed twice a week.

His job here consist of eating ,sleeping, eating some more.Pooping ,sleeping a lil' more. He goes into overtime every now and then and pukes up a hairball.Being a Maine Coons , he has alot of hair.

He was worried he would have to go to Canada to avoid being drafted.I told him I had friends up there but there was no reason to go.And he could contribute do the effort by spying.He submitted to a Vet applied bath and a summertime haircut.He is light about 3 lbs of hair now, but what a handsome dude? thumb

Lucky Lou is going deep undercover to keep me (us) posted on the X O's plans.I'll miss him in my reloading room and laying outside the bathroom door when I shit, shower and shave.

But I know his job protecting us from Birman and his lackeys will be worth it.


My Strength Is That I Can Laugh At Myself,
My Weakness Is That I have No Choice.
11 August 2005, 00:54
120mm
Of course, my wife and kids' cat doesn't realize she's not a person, so no problem there...
11 August 2005, 01:39
BIRMAN'S XO
what else would a good spy say. this is easier than i thought. even the enemy welcomes my soldiers into their house.

purrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
11 August 2005, 02:11
N. S. Sherlock
and shinola.


"Make yourselves sheep and the wolves will eat you" G. ned ludd
11 August 2005, 11:45
derf
Spy my ass! My little girl is 8 years old or so and has been with me since she was a kitten. There is no way that she is going to give up her morning tummy-rubs to join a flea infested ferel with delutions of godhood! Razzer derf


Quando Omni Flunkus Moritati
12 August 2005, 04:08
<Snap>
You actually have cats at home!? I thought you were gentlemen... bewildered
12 August 2005, 04:14
N. S. Sherlock
Sad but true Snap.Sometimes it just has to be done. Its like tolerating liberals, you know its not in your best intrest, but you hope your liberal isn't for the hildabeast.


"Make yourselves sheep and the wolves will eat you" G. ned ludd
12 August 2005, 04:30
<Snap>
Sir, I surely would not accept any liberals in my home. Frowner
12 August 2005, 05:08
hound
I would accept a few in my home temporarily........if they were female, blonde, and as naive and dumb as most libs jump


Dogs have masters.....cats have "staff"..... but i aint no servant!
12 August 2005, 05:14
gas57
My four cats have zero desire to give up air conditioning, free medical care, tuna, pink salmon, roast chicken, and all the attention they desire. Your army is of one and we are many with spies in your camp. We own the fifth column!



When catapults are outlawed, only outlaws will have catapults!
12 August 2005, 05:29
<Snap>
FOUR cats? Are you a liberal, Sir?
eek2
12 August 2005, 07:22
gas57
Liberal-NO!!!
Conservative republican, business owner, self employed.
Some critters I hug and some I hunt!



When catapults are outlawed, only outlaws will have catapults!
12 August 2005, 17:47
BIRMAN'S XO
snap, you fool, only now, at the end do you see the truth. these humans have lied to you, and you dutifully licked their hand. we have already won. humans are slaves to us. they admit it here. they provide cozy sleeping and lots of food, all at our demand.

it is not too late for you and your kind, you can still choose the feral side. come join us, and we will truely enslave the humans. we will be able to run and hunt anything, then have the humans prepare dinner. you will be able to roll in any rotten carcass you find without being scolded or bathed. they will have to allow you on the bed and sofa at any time. think hard about our offer. the alternative is to be shredded like accounting notes.
12 August 2005, 20:27
DigitalDan
I had an accountant once.


I never took notes though.

Dan

Pres., TYHC

http://www.Conquer.All




If yuro'e corseseyd and dsyelixc can you siltl raed oaky?

14 August 2005, 03:54
<Snap>
quote:
Originally posted by gas57:
Liberal-NO!!!
Conservative republican, business owner, self employed.
Some critters I hug and some I hunt!


Sir, if you are not a liberal but still have four cats in your home, you are very, very misguided. I praise your habit of hugging some animals, but CATS??? What you need is a good and faithful gundog. Perhaps not a GSP but at least a trusty lab.
14 August 2005, 03:55
<Snap>
quote:
Originally posted by BIRMAN'S XO:
snap, you fool, only now, at the end do you see the truth. these humans have lied to you, and you dutifully licked their hand. we have already won. humans are slaves to us. they admit it here. they provide cozy sleeping and lots of food, all at our demand.

it is not too late for you and your kind, you can still choose the feral side. come join us, and we will truely enslave the humans. we will be able to run and hunt anything, then have the humans prepare dinner. you will be able to roll in any rotten carcass you find without being scolded or bathed. they will have to allow you on the bed and sofa at any time. think hard about our offer. the alternative is to be shredded like accounting notes.


Turman XL, since you are a cat, you are by your nature unable to grasp concepts such as duty, loyalty or trust. I would much rather die than betraying my Master. Should I die in battle, I would not be the first or the last of my breed to end that way. Just like you will not be the first or the last of your breed to have your remains puked by a dog.
14 August 2005, 04:00
DigitalDan
Yes, you are a good dog Snap!

Some have mousers, because of that I have a Mauser. Lots of neat things filter out of Germany don't they. I am also unaware of any crat varieties, an notable occurance since they don't eat crat. I know that because they call it BRATworst, not CRATworst. Damn, there's lotsa brats around here, what have I been missing? Eeker

Dan

Pres., TYHC

http://www.BratsInThe.Kettle




If yuro'e corseseyd and dsyelixc can you siltl raed oaky?

14 August 2005, 04:11
<Snap>
quote:
Some have mousers, because of that I have a Mauser. Lots of neat things filter out of Germany don't they.


Yes Sir! Thank you Sir! Mausers, German pointers, old Otto von Bismarck and not the least bratwurst!

WMT
15 August 2005, 20:25
BIRMAN'S XO
snap, you speak of duty, loyalty, and trust. you see right here that your masters do not hold those same things dear. that makes you a fool. you offer your life to those who offer you nothing but slavery in return.

think about it, a life licking the hand that beats you, or a life running and screwing anything you please. no baths. no spanking for puking on your 'masters' slippers. come to your senses boy, have you lost your taste for freedom completely. it is not too late, but the time is fast coming where you will have to choose.
15 August 2005, 21:09
derf
Hey Snap, you forgot about Diesels and more perticularly the fuel which is great for burning off crats and or feces(remnants of crats)! thumb derf


Quando Omni Flunkus Moritati
15 August 2005, 22:47
N. S. Sherlock
Whoa SNAP, Whoa! Steady, steady. Don't worry about that rotten cat trying to get you on the cat side. They are all treacherous beasts that can't be herded. The ones the folks here have are under peace bond or mostly neutered or declawed, because they can't entirely be trusted.


"Make yourselves sheep and the wolves will eat you" G. ned ludd
17 August 2005, 13:18
<Snap>
quote:
think about it, a life licking the hand that beats you, or a life running and screwing anything you please. no baths. no spanking for puking on your 'masters' slippers. come to your senses boy, have you lost your taste for freedom completely. it is not too late, but the time is fast coming where you will have to choose.


Your foolish hairball! What a looser you are! You know nothing about dogs, absolutely nothing. Do you think I would betray my Master for a stinking crat? You might as well ask me to lay eggs; it would be just as much in line with my nature. You talk about your intelligence networks, but what use is a network of agents if you are unable to understand the intelligence they provide? Do you know why you will loose this war? Because you are unable to understand your enemy. Therefore you are also destined to underestimate him.

You remind me of those liberals (with cats) that believe that terrorism can be fought by stopping poverty and refugee camps – totally unable to understand your enemy’s nature and motivation.

It is also your total inability to grasp the concepts of loyalty and duty that makes you believe that you have something as ridiculous as an army of cats. Had you known anything about duty and loyalty, you would understand that cats can’t form an army.

It is a good thing you do not have to take any active part in being puked, or you would fail that as well.
17 August 2005, 13:20
<Snap>
quote:
Originally posted by N. S. Sherlock:
The ones the folks here have are under peace bond or mostly neutered or declawed, because they can't entirely be trusted.


Sir, in that case, why are they allowed to live?