Been advised by my lawyer that in view of the general spirit prevailing nowadays, we will now add the following two lines at the bottom of our client's Agreement (two lines should suffice if we print it small enough).

If it could be of use to anyone around, please feel free to use...

"I, …………………………………., born on ………………….. in …………………….., hereby solemnly declare that I am in full possession of all my wits and mental capacities, that I am not under the influence of alcohol, LSD, marijuana, amphetamines, cocaine, heroin, opium, aspirin, epsom salts, Blue Bunny ice cream, and/or any other controlled or over-the-counter, legal or illegal substance.

I do hereby presently acknowledge and undertake that I shall henceforth take full and absolute responsibility for the stupidity of my acts, and I do swear under oath that I shall in no circumstance sue, litigate, subpoena, drag to court, seek damages, compensation, or reparation from any other living , deceased, or unborn human being, be it male, female, or any other sex or creed, in regard to any activity that I may decide to undertake of my free will, inclusive but not exclusive of getting in the way of any animal, bird, insect, bacterium, virus, or yet to be discovered living, dead, or unborn thing, earthquakes, typhoons, rains, sandstorms, freezing, burns, fires, cracks in the Earth crust, sinkings, air crashes, collisions with animate or inanimate objects, and absolutely anything that could happen to me in any location at any time, wether in my house or in the wild world.

All the bullshit above is especially relevant to anything whatsoever that will probably most definitely happen to me in the wild world while in the company and care of ……………………, born on ………………… in ……………………, to whom I stupidly remitted large sums of money in exchange for the promise to take me to uncomfortable, dangerous, stinking, dusty, and boring places located extremely far away from anything I love like a good burger joint and a supply of chilled beer, in the hope that I could maybe, perhaps, peradventure take shots at some innocent creature provided with horns, claws, fangs, tusks, hooves, teeth, and a general paraphernalia of nasty things designed to cause grievous harm to my pink and soft unwashed body.

I do also hereby solemnly declare that I do understand that guns, sharp objects, blunt objects, heavy objects, hot objects, snakes, beer bottles and women all have a Good end and a Bad end and that it is my full, personal, unshared, and inalienable responsibility to remain at the Good end of any such Weapon in any form at anytime anywhere.

I do again hereby solemnly declare that I fully comprehend and understand that living is a perilous exercise and that the only possible outcome of such a foolish act is DEATH, and that if I do think that I'm going to make it out alive I am a proper fool and probably a Socialist to boot. So help me God, and now pass the ammo and let's go hunting."

I love it!

I am generally prohibited by my honest nature from signing any document that begins: "I, [mrlexma], being of sound mind [or in possession of all of my wits and mental capacities, etc.] . . . ."

But for your agreement I could definitely make an exception!

Good legal advice is not cheap, therefore, I greatly appreciate the new addition to my contract.

i don't think that it is as encompassing as a couple of them i've had to sign. your lawyer is obviously not from Philadelphia

That might be the first legal document that I have seen that actually makes sense.

Except for the part about no cold beer thats exactly the kind of adventure I'm looking for!

One could make the argument (as it has been in my house) that anyone spending as much on hunting (as opposed to kids' college, mortgage, etc.)as is needed for, say, a buff hunt is ipso facto NOT of sound mind, therefore rendering the above a nullity.

Love it. LMAO.


Von Gruff.

How about .... I take responsibility for my own life and any decisions good or bad that I make. Unforseen circumstances are what they are, unforseen so I pay my money and take my chances (-:

So help me GOD ... Amen

Cheers, Peter

Legal advice is generally worth whatever you pay for it. But yours is priceless! ROTFLMAO!

In good hunting.

Andrew McLaren

LOVE IT!

FINALLY A CONTRACT WORTH THE PAPER IT'S WRITTEN ON.

Love it ... but have to agree with Rick R ... even in a tent camp in North Nowhere, Tanzania, I really do expect cold beer!

Like it...

I've been called upon to create "Assumption of Risk" and "Waiver of Liability" documents in the past.

This is the short form that I created:

I recognize that shit happens and I may die, otherwise, I'll live with it.

With permission, I'll be adding that to my database of legal forms. Bet I could deliver that a $500 bill to the client without blinking or cracking a smile.

only $500? obviously you are a "cheap" lawyer.

Absolutley Outstanding!

Now hold my beer and watch this.......



Mad Dog

There was a story written in Car and Driver or one of the various car type magazines of the famous race track in Germany where people can come and drive as fast as they wished. They average several fatal wrecks a year. When the writer asked the track manager why they did not require a release of liability signed prior to using the track and if they worried of lawsuits, the manager laughed and said..."ahhh yes, lawsuits, thats an American invention, our system beleives if you are smart enough to drive here to get on the track, then you are smart enough and responsible enough to live with the consequences of your own actions"

I am tired of people not taking responsibility for their own actions and of frivilous lawsuits that drive my insurance through the roof.

Stepping off my soapbox...

quote:

Originally posted by robncolorado:
There was a story written in Car and Driver or one of the various car type magazines of the famous race track in Germany where people can come and drive as fast as they wished. They average several fatal wrecks a year. When the writer asked the track manager why they did not require a release of liability signed prior to using the track and if they worried of lawsuits, the manager laughed and said..."ahhh yes, lawsuits, thats an American invention, our system beleives if you are smart enough to drive here to get on the track, then you are smart enough and responsible enough to live with the consequences of your own actions"

I am tired of people not taking responsibility for their own actions and of frivilous lawsuits that drive my insurance through the roof.

Stepping off my soapbox...

That would be 'The Ring' http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/N%C3%BCrburgring

quote:

There was a story written in Car and Driver or one of the various car type magazines of the famous race track in Germany where people can come and drive as fast as they wished. They average several fatal wrecks a year. When the writer asked the track manager why they did not require a release of liability signed prior to using the track and if they worried of lawsuits, the manager laughed and said..."ahhh yes, lawsuits, thats an American invention, our system beleives if you are smart enough to drive here to get on the track, then you are smart enough and responsible enough to live with the consequences of your own actions"

I am tired of people not taking responsibility for their own actions and of frivilous lawsuits that drive my insurance through the roof.

Stepping off my soapbox...

That is actually what the United States needs right now, judges, all the way to the Supreme Court, looking at people and saying, "If You Were Stupid Enough To Willingly Do _________, Then You Can Take Full Responsibility For Your Actions, Get The Hell Out Of This Court".

For any lawyer that brings the case to court, they should serve 6 months in prison. JMO.

quote:

Originally posted by shakari:

quote:

Originally posted by robncolorado:
There was a story written in Car and Driver or one of the various car type magazines of the famous race track in Germany where people can come and drive as fast as they wished. They average several fatal wrecks a year. When the writer asked the track manager why they did not require a release of liability signed prior to using the track and if they worried of lawsuits, the manager laughed and said..."ahhh yes, lawsuits, thats an American invention, our system beleives if you are smart enough to drive here to get on the track, then you are smart enough and responsible enough to live with the consequences of your own actions"

I am tired of people not taking responsibility for their own actions and of frivilous lawsuits that drive my insurance through the roof.

Stepping off my soapbox...

That would be 'The Ring' http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/N%C3%BCrburgring

Thanks Shakari, that is the place....

Or, as Americans, we could stop electing lawyers.

John

quote:

Originally posted by Wendell Reich:
Good legal advice is not cheap, therefore, I greatly appreciate the new addition to my contract.

Yeah, bubba, but it's too late to add it to ours...

quote:

Originally posted by Crazyhorseconsulting:

That is actually what the United States needs right now, judges, all the way to the Supreme Court, looking at people and saying, "If You Were Stupid Enough To Willingly Do _________, Then You Can Take Full Responsibility For Your Actions, Get The Hell Out Of This Court".

For any lawyer that brings the case to court, they should serve 6 months in prison. JMO.

I really like this idea. Now if we could only convince the 9th district appelate court of this..... hmmmm.

Michelle