A man went to join a LONG DICK CLUB.

Knocked at the door.

Doorman opens.

Yes sir, can I be of any assistance?

Yes, I came to join the club.

How long is it sir?

12 inches!

Sorry sir that is below the minimum requirement for membership.

The man left.

He tried every trick imaginable to make his dick bigger.

He added 2 inches.

Of he goes again.


How long is it now sir, asked the doorman.

14 inches, said the man excitedly!

The doorman looks at him and says; sir you know the membership in this club is governed by your size, look.

He said that while lifting the bottom end of his left trouser leg, and you can see the head of his dick.

Saying, and I am only the doorman!

The poor sod left, and went home.

No hope for him.

I missed something on this one.

quote:

Originally posted by carpetman1:
I missed something on this one.

Then you don’t qualify!

This sounds like The Golden Girl Of Hockenbeieck,,,, the most decacant book ever published!

Reminds me of the stories of comedian and movie star Milton Berle, who by most accounts was a pretty miserable person toward friends and fans and known for being well endowed.

He was constantly challenged to dick measuring contests to which he would reply, OK, we'll measure, but I'm only pulling out enough to win!

A urologists friend of mine in the UK told me once he had an African patient who passed out each time he had a hard on!

Apparently his dick was so big, it draws so much blood!

He also told me of a plumber who came to him with a copper tube stuck in his dick!

He had a problem pissing, so he did what plumber do!

He had us in fits of laughter, as he visited us here in Dubai, and we took him to the desert for a BBQ.

He said it was the best meal he had ever had!

One of the guys there kept bringing him a small wash bowl, and asking him to wash his hands.

He asked why, and was told "because you play with dicks!

And without batting an eyelid, he said I stick my fingers up their arse too to check for a prostate!

The next day he told me he enjoyed himself so much, with everyone joking without any worry of offending anyone.

He was a very famous urologist and attends conferences all over the world!

Saeed I used to work with a chap who also was so well endowed that he wore a special ring around his penis so he couldn't get a hard on.

Pete

Many years ago there was a guy on the job whose every other comment was about his size. Everyone was getting tired of that so one day when he popped off, one of the guys said, "You know if my dick was as big as you claim yours to be, I wouldn't talk about it." The guy says, "Why not?" The other guy says, "That just proves that my wife could take it."

Then there's the one about all the guys at the bar bragging about size + the bartender has had enough. He say's alright, whip em' out on the bar + I'm gonna measure everyone + put an end to this nonsense. They do so about the same time this fairy walks in the bar. The bartender asks if he wants to be measured too. Oh no, he replies, I've just come for the buffet.