STIMULUS PLAN:



Sometime this year, we taxpayers may again receive an Economic Stimulus payment. This is a very exciting program. I'll explain it using the Q and A format:





Q. What is an Economic Stimulus payment?

A. It is money that the federal government will send to taxpayers.



Q. Where will the government get this money?

A. From taxpayers.



Q. So the government is giving me back my own money?

A. Only a smidgen.



Q. What is the purpose of this payment?

A. The plan is for you to use the money to purchase a high-definition TV set, thus stimulating the economy.



Q. But isn't that stimulating the economy of China ?

A. Shut up.



Below is some helpful advice on how to best help the US economy by spending your stimulus 20 check wisely:



* If you spend the stimulus money at Wal-Mart, the money will go to China

* If you spend it on gasoline, your money will go to the Arabs.

* If you purchase a computer, it will go to India.

* If you purchase fruit and vegetables, it will go to Mexico, Honduras and Guatemala .

* If you buy a car, it will go to Japan or Korea.

* If you purchase useless stuff, it will go to Taiwan.

* If you pay your credit cards off, or buy stock, it will go to management bonuses and they will hide it offshore.



Instead, keep the money in America by:



1 spending it at yard sales, or

2 going to ball games, or

3 spending it on prostitutes, or

4 beer or

5 tattoos.



(These are the only American businesses still operating in the US )



Conclusion:



Go to a ball game with a tattooed prostitute that you met at a yard sale and drink beer all day.

Less beer breweries every day. H*ll even that rot gut Bud is owned outside the states. If you want to help American breweries buy from small local breweries.

better beer anyway

Go to Germany sometime. Every little town of a hundred or more has their own local brewery or two.
The only way to get a real good Porter in this country is from one of those micro breweries.
Drink local!!

Rich

A while back my step-daughter, who's a really bright kid, asked "Are we going to have another Great Depression?"

I asked her if she knew what the Great Depression was. She didn't really, but I gather they'd been talking about it at school.

So, in simple terms, I explained that the Great Depression happened because the stock market crashed, and the banks, which invest heavily in stocks, as well as loans to buy stocks, and loans to build businesses, were over-extended, so that when the people who had deposited their money in the bank came to ask for it back, the bank didn't have the money to give them, because all the people that the bank had loaned it to or invested it with couldn't pay the bank.

I explained to her that this partly happened because the banks had no rules about who they could loan to or invest money with. I also explained that this didn't happen in Canada because our banks have some rules about that.

I went on to say that what's happening today is that the banks have done a similar thing - over-extended in loans and investments, the people who they loaned to or invested with can't pay them back, but that rather than have another Great Depression, the government is going to give the banks money to cover their losses.

She said "I thought governments didn't have money. I thought they only took taxes from people?" (Told you she's smart.)

So, I said "The government is taking taxes from the people, to give to the banks, so that they can loan it to the people."

I stopped right there, because I decided that if I tried to explain the auto bailout, I'd probably have an aneurysm, and for sure give her nightmares, poor kid.