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After seeing Christopher Walken on A.S post on the prepper forum,, it recalled another I had heard years ago. Thus: One day a lion cub was born in a cave + after several weeks he had the strength + inclinination to go the mouth of the cave. He gazes upon the savanna + saw a herd of gazelles + had this uncontrollable urge that came up from his nethers; + he roared. Scared him too, but it REALLY scared the gazelles. So he gets to thinking that just maybe, he is a real bad ass. Time for another trial. Out comes a herd of zebra + he gives his roar + they take off like a gaggle of ladies at an after thanksgiving sale. Well, now he just KNOWS he is one BAD M.F. So he goes down onto the plains, strutting his manly stuff, totally self-convinced that he is the most bad ass out there. He sees a group of monkeys under a tree. All the monkeys seeing him coming climb the tree; all save one old + wizened monkee who just sits with his head rested on his hand. The lion can't believe this afforontery so roars again in his other ear. The monkee doesn't move + so the lion gets in his face + says, "Hey , you should know the rules at your age. I'm the King of the Jungle + when I roar, EVERYBODY runs; so what's your problem?" The old monkee looks up at him with a bit of painful grimace + says, "Fuck you. I've been sick."


Never mistake motion for action.
 
Posts: 17357 | Location: Austin, Texas | Registered: 11 March 2013Reply With Quote
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The lion was walking around, inspecting his domain.

He comes to a farm.

He sees a bull tied to wheel that was getting water out of the ground.

He walks up to the bull “why are pulling that heavy wheel?”

“My master set me to do it”

“I am the king of the jungle. You are my citizen. Take that off and go enjoy yourself !”

“I cannot do that. My real master will punish me”

“Where is this master of yours? I will teach him a lesson he never forgets!”

“He is over the that hill, slaughtering sheep”

“SLAUGHTERING sheep? I am really going to teach that master a lesson he never forgets!”

Of he goes over the hill.

He sees the farmer and walks up to him “are you the creature using my citizens?”

“What the hell are you talking about?”

“I am the LION! THE KING OF THE JUNGLE! And all these animals are my citizen! Release them immediately!”

“No mate! I cannot do that. They are MY animals and I will use them as I see fit!”

“Then I will fight you.I will teach you a lesson!”

“Hahaha! You want to fight me? You have your claws, your teeth and so on. My fighting teeth and claws are at home!”

“Go get them. Then we will fight and see who is charge here!”

“I go home. Bring my claws and teeth, and you will run away in the meantime! I am not going to waste my time!”

“I will NOT run away! I am LION! KING OF THE JUNGLE!”

“I tell you what. How about I tie you to this tree, to make sure you don’t run away.”

“Ok! Tue me up. And go get your equipment!”

The farmer proceeds to tie lion to a big tree. Made sure he is well and truly ties.

Then he goes and gets his axe.

Comes back to the lion, and first swing takes the lion’s tail off!

The lion is screaming bloody murder, and the man continues.

He says to the lion “Now you know why I am the master of the whole earth. Not just the jungle!”

He chops the lion to pieces.

That was the end of the lions


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Posts: 66756 | Location: Dubai, UAE | Registered: 08 January 1998Reply With Quote
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Armed humans are the apex predators.
 
Posts: 19313 | Location: wis | Registered: 21 April 2001Reply With Quote
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Remember the Cajun comedian Justin Wilson? One of his routines was about the King Of Beasts. He says the lion is not the king, the Louisiana crawfish is. He says you put a lion on a train track with a train coming + he will get out of the way but you put a crawdad out on the track + he'll rear up, snapping his claws + try his best to stop that train.


Never mistake motion for action.
 
Posts: 17357 | Location: Austin, Texas | Registered: 11 March 2013Reply With Quote
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Remembering James Thurber's statement, "Man is the highest life form," says man.


Never mistake motion for action.
 
Posts: 17357 | Location: Austin, Texas | Registered: 11 March 2013Reply With Quote
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