The Accurate Reloading Forums THE ACCURATE RELOADING.COM FORUMS Other Topics Humor Jokes Sent To Me By A Mullah!Go | New | Find | Notify | Tools | Reply | |
| Jokes Sent To Me By A Mullah! | Login/Join |
| Administrator |
What did the toaster say to the slice of bread? "I want you inside me." "Give it to me! Give it to me!" she yelled. "I'm so wet, give it to me now!" She could scream all she wanted, but I was keeping the umbrella. Two men broke into a drugstore and stole all the Viagra. The police put out an alert to be on the lookout for the two hardened criminals. They say that during sex you burn off as many calories as running eight miles. Who the hell runs eight miles in 30 seconds? I'll admit it, I have a tremendous sex drive. My girlfriend lives forty miles away. Who's the most popular guy at the nudist colony? The one who can carry a cup of coffee in each hand and a dozen doughnuts. What's the difference between kinky and perverted? Kinky is when you tickle your girlfriend with a feather, perverted is when you use the whole bird. "I bet you can't tell me something that will make me both happy and sad at the same time," a husband says to his wife. She thinks about it for a moment and then responds, "Your penis is bigger than your brother's." A woman walks out of the shower, winks at her boyfriend, and says, "Honey, I shaved myself down there. Do you know what that means?" The boyfriend says, "Yeah, it means the drain is clogged again." How do you make a pool table laugh? Tickle its balls. If you were born in September, it's pretty safe to assume that your parents started their new year with a bang. A naked man broke into a church. The police chased him around and finally caught him by the organ. Did you hear about the constipated accountant? He couldn't budget, so he had to work it out with a paper and pencil. Why did the sperm cross the road? Because I put on the wrong sock this morning. An old woman walked into a dentist's office, took off all her clothes, and spread her legs. The dentist said, "I think you have the wrong room." "You put in my husband's teeth last week," she replied. "Now you have to remove them." Why does a mermaid wear seashells? Because she outgrew her B-shells! What do you call a cheap circumcision? A rip-off! What do you do when your cat's dead? Play with the neighbor's pussy instead. How is life like toilet paper? You're either on a roll or taking s*** from someone. What's the difference between a tire and 365 used condoms? One's a Goodyear. The other's a great year. What is Moby Dick's dad's name? Papa Boner. What do you call someone who refuses to fart in public? A private tutor! What do you call a herd of cows masturbating? Beef strokin' off! What did the leper say to the sex worker? Keep the tip. What do you call the lesbian version of a cock block? A beaver dam! What do a penis and a Rubik's Cube have in common? The more you play with it, the harder it gets. What's long, green, and smells like bacon? Kermit The Frog's fingers! What do you get when you jingle Santa's balls? A white Christmas! Why is diarrhea hereditary? It runs in your genes! A penguin takes his car to the shop and the mechanic says it'll take about an hour for him to check it. While he waits, the penguin goes to an ice cream shop and orders a big sundae to pass the time. The penguin isn't the neatest eater, and he ends up covered in melted ice cream. When he returns to the shop, the mechanic takes one look at him and says, "Looks like you blew a seal." "No," the penguin insists, "it's just ice cream." What did one butt cheek say to the other? Together, we can stop this crap. A man and a woman started to have sex in the middle of a dark forest. After about 15 minutes, the man finally gets up and says, "Damn, I wish I had a flashlight!" The woman says, "Me too, you've been eating grass for the past ten minutes!" What do you get when you cross a dick with a potato? A dictator! How is sex like a game of bridge? If you have a great hand, you don't need a partner. | ||
|
| One of Us |
| |||
|
| One of Us |
i damn near wet my pants | |||
|
One of Us |
As to the last one, I recalled an interview with George Burns during his early years before he met Gracie. He said he had 2 choices for a date that night, one that was a sure thing + one that was a great dancer. So I took out the dancer. I can do the other myself.  Never mistake motion for action. | |||
|
| Administrator |
I had a bit of history with this gentleman. He used to send me non stop religious articles. I asked him to stop, he would not. Trouble was he is not very computer savvy. In his emails, he included everyone on his mailing cc list. I got on the Net and downloaded a few very unsavory gay pictures - he thinks I am a computer genius, as I build my own. I sent him the photos, and told him if I received any more religious emails from him, I will photoshop him in pictures like these, and send them to everyone on his list! I got a phone call from him immediately he saw my email, and we have been friends ever since  | |||
|
| One of Us |
Sometimes you just gotta rattle that chain. Never mistake motion for action. | |||
|
One of Us |
Wow, an oldie that I missed!  | |||
|
| One of Us |
ALL of these are very good !
| |||
|
| One of Us |
#4 reminds me of the old one about "rodeo sex". When you mount your mate from behind, then tell her this is the way her sister likes it; then see if you can stay on for 10 secondes. Never mistake motion for action. | |||
|
One of Us |
Saeed....ever hear of "Mullah Nasredin" jokes? During two years in Iran (Peace Corps '69-'71) I was told a number of "Mullah Nasredin" jokes mostly based on questionable actions by the Mullah who explained them away as religious miracles. | |||
|
| Administrator |
I think in Iraq they call him JOHA! Very clever man. His son came to him crying. Saying people laugh at him. JOHA said to his son “let us take our donkey for a walk” Off they went. They passed some people, who said “look at those two. They have a donkey, and they don’t ride it” So they both got on the donkey. They passed another lot. Who said “look at those heartless two. Riding the poor donkey” He got off and left his son on the donkey. They passed another lot. Who said “look at that mannerless boy. Riding while his poor father walks” The boy got off and JOHA git on the donkey. They passed another lot. They said “look at that horrible man. Riding while his poor son walk” He got off the donkey. They both picked the donkey up and carried it. They passed another lot. They said “by God! Look at those stupid two. They are carrying the donkey instead of riding it” JOHA turned to his son and said “don’t listen to people!” | |||
|
| One of Us |
The very best advice!  | |||
|
| One of Us |
Absolutely. People will never agree and you can't make everyone happy. So ignore the noise. I don't care what other people think, | |||
|
| Powered by Social Strata |
 | Please Wait. Your request is being processed... |
|
The Accurate Reloading Forums THE ACCURATE RELOADING.COM FORUMS Other Topics Humor Jokes Sent To Me By A Mullah!
Visit our on-line store for AR Memorabilia