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Due to the current financial situation caused by the slowdown in the economy,

Congress has decided to implement a scheme to put workers of 50 years of age and above on early retirement, thus creating jobs and reducing unemployment.


This scheme will be known as RAPE (Retire Aged People Early).

Persons selected to be RAPED can apply to Congress to be considered for the SHAFT program (Special Help After Forced Termination).


Persons who have been RAPED and SHAFTED will be reviewed under the SCREW program (System Covering Retired-Early Workers).


A person may be RAPED once, SHAFTED twice and SCREWED as many times as Congress deems appropriate.


Persons who have been RAPED could get AIDS (Additional Income for Dependents & Spouse) or HERPES (Half Earnings for Retired Personnel Early Severance).


Obviously, persons who have AIDS or HERPES will not be SHAFTED or SCREWED any further by Congress.


Persons who are not RAPED and are staying on will receive as much SHIT (Special High Intensity Training) as possible.

Congress has always prided themselves on the amount of SHIT they give our citizens.


Should you feel that you do not receive enough SHIT, please bring this to the attention of your Congressman, who has been trained to give you all the SHIT you can handle.


Sincerely,
The Committee for Economic Value of Individual Lives (E.V.I.L.)

PS - - Due to recent budget cuts and the rising cost of electricity, gas, and oil, as well as current market conditions, the Light at the End of the Tunnel has been turned off.
 
Posts: 6361 | Location: NY, NY | Registered: 28 November 2005Reply With Quote
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why does this make perfect sense shocker


Never rode a bull, but have shot some.

NRA life member
NRA LEO firearms instructor (retired)
NRA Golden Eagles member
 
Posts: 1502 | Location: Camp Verde, AZ | Registered: 13 December 2005Reply With Quote
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Picture of NormanConquest
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Indeed!


Never mistake motion for action.
 
Posts: 17357 | Location: Austin, Texas | Registered: 11 March 2013Reply With Quote
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shocker Tooooo Close To Truth!!
 
Posts: 2024 | Location: Grove,OK. | Registered: 20 July 2002Reply With Quote
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Lotta imagination in this one.

George


"Gun Control is NOT about Guns'
"It's about Control!!"
Join the NRA today!"

LM: NRA, DAV,

George L. Dwight
 
Posts: 5935 | Location: Pueblo, CO | Registered: 31 January 2006Reply With Quote
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rotflmo tu2
 
Posts: 18517 | Registered: 04 April 2005Reply With Quote
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