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Why did the negro wear a tuxedo to his vasectomy?
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He said "If I is going to be impotent, I wants to look impotent!"
 
Posts: 213 | Registered: 05 October 2008Reply With Quote
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When I heard it it there was no tuxedo, instead his garb was a pea-green jacket with orange checked pants, a big Panama with a purple hat band, high heel stack shoes with a goldfish swimming in the heels. Different cultures have different ideas on what qualifies as looking "impotent" Big Grin


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Posts: 17357 | Location: Austin, Texas | Registered: 11 March 2013Reply With Quote
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Different cultures have different ideas on what qualifies as looking "impotent"



As well as what qualifies as "funny".


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Posts: 1283 | Registered: 15 December 2008Reply With Quote
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If any black lives matter folks are reading this they are seriously pissed. No sense of humor.

Dave
 
Posts: 2086 | Location: Seattle Washington, USA | Registered: 19 January 2004Reply With Quote
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Eeker
 
Posts: 18517 | Registered: 04 April 2005Reply With Quote
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I read today that they are removing Uncle Bens + Aunt Jemima products + taking out "Gone With The Wind" Seriously. I suppose it's just a matter of time for the Cream Of Wheat guy. I'm still plenty pissed about the removal of Confederate statues. I have a real problem with folks wanting to rewrite history.


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Posts: 17357 | Location: Austin, Texas | Registered: 11 March 2013Reply With Quote
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Kind of what the black South Africans have done all over South Africa post apartheid(changed the names of cities, airports, removed statues, etc.) Get rid of history through your unbridled hate, so none of the upcoming generation will know the truth about the past and then rewrite it to suit your political purposes. Just today there are voices here in Nevada calling for a name change to the Las Vegas McCarran Airport. The argument among them is that Senator Pat McCarran was a bigoted racist and anti-semite. The push is to, instead, name it the Harry S. Reid Airport. And, Columbus Ohio has taken down the statue of Columbus gifted to them by a city in Italy. Insane nonsense.
 
Posts: 18517 | Registered: 04 April 2005Reply With Quote
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I demand we take the Quaker off Quaker oats and change the name as well. it offends us atheists. Big Grin

Grizz


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I think they've been misunderstood. Timothy Tredwell
 
Posts: 1577 | Location: Central Alberta, Canada | Registered: 20 July 2019Reply With Quote
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Yeah, someone just sent me an email about them needing to change the name of Cracker Jacks because it can offend the feelings of sensitive whites. Big Grin What idiot actually opened that can of worms?


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Posts: 17357 | Location: Austin, Texas | Registered: 11 March 2013Reply With Quote
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Originally posted by NormanConquest:
I read today that they are removing Uncle Bens + Aunt Jemima products + taking out "Gone With The Wind" Seriously. I suppose it's just a matter of time for the Cream Of Wheat guy. I'm still plenty pissed about the removal of Confederate statues. I have a real problem with folks wanting to rewrite history.

Erecting monuments for racist traitors is re-writing history.

Do you really think people are going to forget the heritage of hate if some cheap pot-metal statues are taken down?


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Posts: 803 | Location: WA, USA | Registered: 29 December 2003Reply With Quote
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The hate being generated right now will have incredible consequences.

Religions and politics have made hate their aim, and look where it has gotten us.

Now your skin color is added to the mixture.

If you are white, you should have no opinion, only blacks have an opinion.

Whites showed only cow in shame for all humanities injustices.


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Posts: 66752 | Location: Dubai, UAE | Registered: 08 January 1998Reply With Quote
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If you are white, you should have no opinion,

Well I'm an old white guy and have an opinion on everything.

Dave
 
Posts: 2086 | Location: Seattle Washington, USA | Registered: 19 January 2004Reply With Quote
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Originally posted by Saeed:

If you are white, you should have no opinion, only blacks have an opinion.


Sorry bub, free white & 21 here. Been a Republican since age 18.

Born in America by luck, born in the South by the grace of God.

I do have an opinion.
 
Posts: 1007 | Registered: 21 December 2008Reply With Quote
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ranb40, Are you really that dense to not see what I said? The " collective guilt" that seems to be so prevalent these days seems to come from the hand wringing snowflake factor. Hey if you want to talk about the downtrodden in America 150 years ago, let's talk about the Irish. The big difference there was that the blacks moaned + groaned (still are) about wanting something more given to them while the Irish just fought back by being the best that they could be + making a life for themselves + not waiting on the government tit. My wife's Grandpa held off the KKK on his doorstep because he was an Irish Catholic. Never mind, this should be a humor column.


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Posts: 17357 | Location: Austin, Texas | Registered: 11 March 2013Reply With Quote
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Originally posted by zrp:
quote:
Originally posted by Saeed:

If you are white, you should have no opinion, only blacks have an opinion.


Sorry bub, free white & 21 here. Been a Republican since age 18.

Born in America by luck, born in the South by the grace of God.

I do have an opinion.



Posts: 792 | Registered: 21 December 2008

You signed up here 12 years ago when you were 9?

Anyway, back to the actual humor forum, this is the actual re-made Land O' Lakes butter packaging now ....


for every hour in front of the computer you should have 3 hours outside
 
Posts: 7756 | Location: Between 2 rivers, Middle USA | Registered: 19 August 2000Reply With Quote
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Originally posted by NormanConquest:
ranb40, Are you really that dense to not see what I said? ....

Nope. You said in part; "I'm still plenty pissed about the removal of Confederate statues. I have a real problem with folks wanting to rewrite history."

How it is you're not helping them take down those disgusting relics of racism?


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Posts: 803 | Location: WA, USA | Registered: 29 December 2003Reply With Quote
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Son, you REALLY need to go back to History 101. Slavery was never the issue; states' rights was (+ still is actually). The reality of this is that slavery (already illegal in importation)was on its way out already. It was not economically feasible anymore. In the next 20 years, slavery would have died by its own design. No profit; + that was all the landowners (or anyone else in the business is interested in.)


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Posts: 17357 | Location: Austin, Texas | Registered: 11 March 2013Reply With Quote
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You know, I REALLY have to add on to this because my conscience says so. what really chaps my ass is that the blacks feel so entitled because they have been downtrodden upon 150 years ago, + maybe somewhat today (but whose fault is that?) If you want to see the downtrodden of 150 years ago look to the Irish. Any student of history knows what their race had to deal with in this new nation for them. Sure they bitched, everyone does, but the difference was that they actually did something about it. They didn't whine, they just pulled themselves up + made something of their lives + their lives by perseverance + effort + hard work + so they have been rewarded by their mindset + work ethic. I think that my point is clear; that ANYONE in this nation can improve themselves providing they put out an effort+ not just have a handout. As it says, 'Life, Liberty. + The Pursuit of Happiness". You will note that it is the PURSUIT of happiness, not the guarantee.


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Posts: 17357 | Location: Austin, Texas | Registered: 11 March 2013Reply With Quote
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Ran was taught history in public schools (I'll bet above the mason Dixon) and believes the civil was fought over slavery.......
 
Posts: 41762 | Location: Crosby and Barksdale, Texas | Registered: 18 September 2006Reply With Quote
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Originally posted by NormanConquest:
Son, you REALLY need to go back to History 101. Slavery was never the issue; states' rights was (+ still is actually). The reality of this is that slavery (already illegal in importation)was on its way out already. It was not economically feasible anymore. In the next 20 years, slavery would have died by its own design. No profit; + that was all the landowners (or anyone else in the business is interested in.)


You mean "state's rights to own slaves" I think. Slavery was still going strong when the South started the war.


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Posts: 803 | Location: WA, USA | Registered: 29 December 2003Reply With Quote
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Originally posted by JTEX:
Ran was taught history in public schools (I'll bet above the mason Dixon) and believes the civil was fought over slavery.......

Southern leaders said the war was about slavery. Were they lying?


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Posts: 803 | Location: WA, USA | Registered: 29 December 2003Reply With Quote
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The Civil War was fought over the right to trade textiles with England. That's how it started. Slavery was a side issue.
 
Posts: 213 | Registered: 05 October 2008Reply With Quote
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Originally posted by ggruber:

The Civil War was fought over the right to trade textiles with England. That's how it started. Slavery was a side issue.


While this is the Humor forum, you are 100% spot on. The funny part of all this is how few get past the high school version of our history. It's not like it's a secret...


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Posts: 22442 | Location: Occupying Little Minds Rent Free | Registered: 04 October 2012Reply With Quote
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Well, since we're all being "humored" by this, we can add the Mormon people to this discussion of persecution and history. Driven from state to state by angry mobs. Homes burned, lands and personal property taken, Mormon women and girls raped, Mormons robbed, beaten and shot dead. The governor of Missouri, Wilburn Boggs, finally issued an official extermination order against any Mormon. Unbelievably, that official extermination order was on the books of the State of Missouri, and was not officially rescinded until 1976. (138 years) Appealed peaceably for official redress to not only governors, but to the President of the United States himself and was turned down. Finally, when forcibly driven out of the city of Nauvoo, Illinois, (which they had previously built out of a mosquito and malaria infested swamp along the Mississippi River), in the middle of the winter, they moved west 1056 miles all the way to the Rocky Mountains and outside the U.S. in order to have peace. So, if anyone has the right to redress and damages from our friggin' government, it's the Mormon people. And, this all well before the Civil War. But, you don't hear Mormons today calling for that. And, they've never called for that. Instead, you hear them calling for peace, an end to hate, racism and divide, treating your neighbor with kindness, and a return to worshipping God.
 
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Wrong forum, fellas.


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Posts: 4848 | Location: Clute, Texas | Registered: 12 January 2005Reply With Quote
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Back to the humor..... A guy that used to help us out at harvest time; family friend; very white, but most proud of his Irish heritage, Big Grin used to tell us that the reason God gave whiskey to the Irish was so they wouldn't take over the world.
 
Posts: 217 | Location: SW of Dodge City | Registered: 18 September 2005Reply With Quote
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Originally posted by Use Enough Gun:
Well, since we're all being "humored" by this, we can add the Mormon people to this discussion of persecution and history. Driven from state to state by angry mobs. Homes burned, lands and personal property taken, Mormon women and girls raped, Mormons robbed, beaten and shot dead. The governor of Missouri, Wilburn Boggs, finally issued an official extermination order against any Mormon. Unbelievably, that official extermination order was on the books of the State of Missouri, and was not officially rescinded until 1976. (138 years) Appealed peaceably for official redress to not only governors, but to the President of the United States himself and was turned down. Finally, when forcibly driven out of the city of Nauvoo, Illinois, (which they had previously built out of a mosquito and malaria infested swamp along the Mississippi River), in the middle of the winter, they moved west 1056 miles all the way to the Rocky Mountains and outside the U.S. in order to have peace. So, if anyone has the right to redress and damages from our friggin' government, it's the Mormon people. And, this all well before the Civil War. But, you don't hear Mormons today calling for that. And, they've never called for that. Instead, you hear them calling for peace, an end to hate, racism and divide, treating your neighbor with kindness, and a return to worshipping God.


^^^This.
Zeke
 
Posts: 2269 | Registered: 27 October 2011Reply With Quote
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I told a guy the other day that because I am white don't make me a racist, just because he is black don't make him a slave either. He looked at me kinda funny and said "well said, that is very true. He smiled and said have a good day and left.


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Posts: 580 | Location: Texas City, TX. USA. | Registered: 25 January 2004Reply With Quote
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jfromswk, My ex was Irish + all the family was great. And just like the jews tell the best jew jokes, the Irish tell the best Irish jokes. They told the one about, You know how the wheelbarrow was invented? It was designed to teach an Irishman to walk on his hind legs.


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Posts: 17357 | Location: Austin, Texas | Registered: 11 March 2013Reply With Quote
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I have a problem tearing down statues because it ignores history. We need to learn from history. I sat on a hill overlooking a park in Windhoek, underneath a statue of a white cavalry soldier.
A group of kids was playing a game of football.
A group of soldiers with a crewserved weapon was overlooking and protecting them. Not a great situation and not one I'd expect to see in the US. But even there, they don't tear down monuments. Important so we can learn from our mistakes. Tearing them down allows you to forget those mistakes.
 
Posts: 9951 | Location: Houston, Texas | Registered: 26 December 2005Reply With Quote
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It also allows history to be rewritten in a "newer + cleaner" rendition that disregards the truth.


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Posts: 17357 | Location: Austin, Texas | Registered: 11 March 2013Reply With Quote
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