An old coworker would say some of these

You got to get them in the morning before they PEE so they don't let the steam out!

Stick one titty in your ear and the other in your mouth and make like a telephone!

When you get weak in the hips it's time to get strong in the lips!

Hip

Hip, I have posted this here before but will do it again for those who have not seen. Years ago the ranch foreman's daughter was listening to the radio + the commercial from Carnation Milk was offering a reward to anyone who could come up with a musical jingle for their product. The young lady thinks that she can do that so writes a letter to Carnation milk. It goes.
Carnation Milk, Best in The Land.
Comes to your table in a little red can.
She sees one of the cowboys on his way to town + asks if he will drop off her letter at the post office. On his way he notices that the envelope wasn't sealed; he reads it + decides to help her out in the contest. So he adds his part + mails the letter. 3 weeks later the young lady asks the cowboy if he mailed her letter as she SURELY must be a winner by now. The old cowpoke , hat in hand, shuffles his boots + says, "Well, I kinda added a bit to help you out." She says, "WHAT DID YOU SAY!" + he replies.
Carnation milk, best in the land.
Comes to your table in a little red can'
No tits to pull, no hay to pitch,
Just punch 2 holes in the son of a bitch.