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Picture of NormanConquest
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Quote from Billy Brag,
You're a dedicated swallower of fascsism,
You're an accident waiting to haqppen.


Never mistake motion for action.
 
Posts: 17357 | Location: Austin, Texas | Registered: 11 March 2013Reply With Quote
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If you are dipping snuff, check the wind before spitting


"Whensoever the General Government assumes undelegated powers, its acts are unauthoritative, void, and of no force." --Thomas Jefferson

 
Posts: 6173 | Location: Richmond, Virginia | Registered: 17 September 2000Reply With Quote
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Arkypete,

Good advice. Also, remove your mask.
 
Posts: 9952 | Location: Houston, Texas | Registered: 26 December 2005Reply With Quote
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Also, via "The Big Lebowski", don't throw ashes off a cliff. I worked with a guy years ago + we were on the job on a cliff face + he decided to piss off the face; well it came back + covered him in his own piss + I asked him if he didn't know better + he said, "No of course not, I went to school in Florence". From what I have seen of graduates from the Florence, Tx. H.S., I can believe it.


Never mistake motion for action.
 
Posts: 17357 | Location: Austin, Texas | Registered: 11 March 2013Reply With Quote
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Eeker Eeker rotflmo clap
 
Posts: 18517 | Registered: 04 April 2005Reply With Quote
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Never trust a fart.
 
Posts: 241 | Location: NW Montana | Registered: 22 March 2005Reply With Quote
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quote:
Never trust a fart.

Or a shart! rotflmo clap rotflmo
 
Posts: 18517 | Registered: 04 April 2005Reply With Quote
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Indeed! I was working with a guy in the 70s + we were on the way to the job but stopped at the store for ice + a can of snuff. When Ronnie came out the store door he had the strangest expression on his face. I asked him what was wrong + he said, I just shit in my pants + had to go in the restroom + use my pocketknife to cut my underwear off. rotflmo


Never mistake motion for action.
 
Posts: 17357 | Location: Austin, Texas | Registered: 11 March 2013Reply With Quote
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From an old Navy Chaplin assigned to the Marine Corp. Marine Corp's version of the 23rd psalm 'Ye though I walk through the valley of death I will fear no evil, because, because I the meanest SOB in the valley'


"Whensoever the General Government assumes undelegated powers, its acts are unauthoritative, void, and of no force." --Thomas Jefferson

 
Posts: 6173 | Location: Richmond, Virginia | Registered: 17 September 2000Reply With Quote
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quote:
I asked him what was wrong + he said, I just shit in my pants + had to go in the restroom + use my pocketknife to cut my underwear off.

Here's a true story. Had an expert witness in a natural gas pipeline case years ago tell me the following. He was dressed in a three piece beige suit and was going to a wedding with his wife and another couple. He and his wife were in the back seat of a Ford Mustang. He felt a little uncomfortable and thought that he would pass a little gas and relieve the feeling. When he did so, it was a shart and he had shit all over the back of his suit. Needless to say, he didn't make it to the wedding. rotflmo clap
 
Posts: 18517 | Registered: 04 April 2005Reply With Quote
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quote:
Originally posted by Use Enough Gun:
quote:
I asked him what was wrong + he said, I just shit in my pants + had to go in the restroom + use my pocketknife to cut my underwear off.

Here's a true story. Had an expert witness in a natural gas pipeline case years ago tell me the following. He was dressed in a three piece beige suit and was going to a wedding with his wife and another couple. He and his wife were in the back seat of a Ford Mustang. He felt a little uncomfortable and thought that he would pass a little gas and relieve the feeling. When he did so, it was a shart and he had shit all over the back of his suit. Needless to say, he didn't make it to the wedding. rotflmo clap


Had that happen on the way to a demo at Boeing, was fortunate to be early with time to hit Kmart for new underwear...


TomP

Our country, right or wrong. When right, to be kept right, when wrong to be put right.

Carl Schurz (1829 - 1906)
 
Posts: 14332 | Location: Moreno Valley CA USA | Registered: 20 November 2000Reply With Quote
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After Wild Bill Hickok had been shot in the head + the Doctor was called, his head was in such a mess that at first it wasn't clear if he was shot from in front or behind. The doctor made the comment," If he was shot from the front, it was good shooting; if he was shot from behind, it was good judgement".


Never mistake motion for action.
 
Posts: 17357 | Location: Austin, Texas | Registered: 11 March 2013Reply With Quote
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Big Patton fan here, as was an uncle who was with Third Army. And this quote is an inspiration to me, in life, and the practice of law:

"When in doubt, Attack!"
 
Posts: 9952 | Location: Houston, Texas | Registered: 26 December 2005Reply With Quote
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quote:
And this quote is an inspiration to me, in life, and the practice of law:

Big Grin tu2 Spoken like a true litigator! rotflmo
 
Posts: 18517 | Registered: 04 April 2005Reply With Quote
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One time on the job during a break.

Half dozen or so of us were sitting and kneeling on the shop floor bsing.

One of the guys was always farting around others until it got plumb irritating to be around him.

This time he extended a leg and let loose a juicy one that ran down his pant leg.
Pay back he never forgot, because we wouldn't let him.

George


"Gun Control is NOT about Guns'
"It's about Control!!"
Join the NRA today!"

LM: NRA, DAV,

George L. Dwight
 
Posts: 5935 | Location: Pueblo, CO | Registered: 31 January 2006Reply With Quote
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About 40 some years ago I got this story from a retired master Sgt. who had been one of Patton's cooks. Word was that Eisenhower was coming to review the troops + be stopping by for breakfast so everything was in a whirl to make sure everything went smooth. Being the army way they picked this dumb ass pfc to be the waiter. Taking Ike's order that he wanted a 3 minute egg. The kid sets off for the kitchen, then turns around + heads back to Ike to ask him some question. Ike looks up + says to the kid, "That was fast." The kid replies, "You may be a general sir, but a 3 minute egg still takes 3 minutes." When Ike laughter the tension left the room; me, I would be under the jail. But I have used that line many times in business when folks want the imposible.


Never mistake motion for action.
 
Posts: 17357 | Location: Austin, Texas | Registered: 11 March 2013Reply With Quote
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Supposedly from Bismarck. Never trust a Russian, Russians don't even trust each other.

Grizz


When the horse has been eliminated, human life may be extended an average of five or more years.
James R. Doolitle

I think they've been misunderstood. Timothy Tredwell
 
Posts: 1577 | Location: Central Alberta, Canada | Registered: 20 July 2019Reply With Quote
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Bismark also said, "I don't want to learn from my mistakes. I prefer to learn from the mistakes of others".


Never mistake motion for action.
 
Posts: 17357 | Location: Austin, Texas | Registered: 11 March 2013Reply With Quote
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Have an issue?! Get a tissue!
 
Posts: 592 | Location: Texas, USA | Registered: 10 March 2017Reply With Quote
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Here's a duo for you.
"As far as I'm concerned, war always means failure."
From French President Jacques Chirac.
"As far as France is concerned, you're right."
Rush Limbaugh's reply to Chirac.
 
Posts: 4103 | Location: Austin,Texas | Registered: 08 April 2006Reply With Quote
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The best quotes are from Patton, Churchill, Mark Twain and Will Rodgers. I'll paraphrase one from Will Rodgers:

There are three types of people in the world. The fist are simply intelligent and know better intuitively, the second group are capable of learning from the experience of others, and then there are the people who just have to pee on the electric fence.
 
Posts: 9952 | Location: Houston, Texas | Registered: 26 December 2005Reply With Quote
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Lavaca, I posted one from Patton on the misc. Forum, to whit; "I would rather have a German Division in front of me than a French one behind me,"
 
Posts: 4103 | Location: Austin,Texas | Registered: 08 April 2006Reply With Quote
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The best argument against democracy is a five-minute conversation with the average voter. Winston Churchill.
 
Posts: 4103 | Location: Austin,Texas | Registered: 08 April 2006Reply With Quote
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No man is good enough to govern another man without that other's consent. Abraham
Lincoln..... Hmm, kinda applicable today, eh?
 
Posts: 4103 | Location: Austin,Texas | Registered: 08 April 2006Reply With Quote
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