Get 'em while they're HOT!!!

http://www.herobuilders.com/08.htm

Oooh La La

No thanks.....for $30 I can get a box of good bullets and have some target practice....

Is it anatomically correct?

The Obama figure from the same series must represent him before he got polio.

They also have a barack crack cocaine dispenser.

Someone needs to order a few boxes of Walter action figures for Saeed...

quote:

Want to be an Action Figure Too !!!!!!

Order your custom action figure today ! Our Personalized Action Figures Look, dress and talk just like you !!!!!

Order your Christmas Gifts early get 10% off all orders placed before November 1st 2008.

quote:

Originally posted by RMiller:
They also have a barack crack cocaine dispenser.

Caribou Barbie! The new "C" word!

quote:

Originally posted by DaMan:
Caribou Barbie! The new "C" word!

Actually, Palin is technically a "Wasilla Barbie."

See the complete listing below . . .
________________________________________________

Wasilla Barbie:

This Barbie comes with big hair, country music CDs, a .44 Magnum and a bible. Weekender Kit includes snow machine, 4-wheeler, and fishing boat. Brand new duplex dream house and lake cabin are also available (sold separately). Ken comes with a Ford F-350 Diesel pick-u truck with gun rack and trailer, his own snow machine, 4-wheeler, boat, and .44 Magnum. Ken is available every other two weeks when he is not working on the Slope. Alternative Military Ken available by special order. Sold at Wasilla Wal-Mart.

Juneau Barbie:

Juneau Barbie has a good job working for the State. She gets to travel to
Anchorage frequently, where she buys her clothes at Eddie Bauer and
Nordstrom. She keeps herself in tip top shape, and participates in the
Kluane bike race, as well as the Skagway to Whitehorse Klondike run. She
and her girlfriends love to drink, dance, and sing together, re-living
their athletic accomplishments. Juneau Barbie has a lot of help around the
house because Juneau Ken lost his politically appointed position during the
last change of administration. Juneau Ken works part time as a
"consultant", but he is frequently seen helping with his daughter's
Montessori school field trips, and driving his son to the O.D.T. (Olympic
Development Team) soccer practices. He is an active participant with the
Juneau Ski Club, and helps coach his daughter's Mitey Mite team. Juneau
Ken is a member of the Sierra Club, Friends of Recycling, and serves on the
Middle School Site Council.

Haines Barbie:

Haines Barbie is originally from the East Coast, but moved to Alaska after
school in California. She drives a small Toyota truck with a camper shell
in the back. Haines Barbie dresses in birkenstocks and carhharts in the
dry months, and extratuffs and carhartts in the wet months. Haines Barbie
can do anything a man can do. She built her own cabin at Mud Bay, with the
help of her then-lover Jennifer. Haines Barbie works very hard to save
the environment. She was successful in shutting down the timber industry,
as well as driving off the cruise ships. She is very low-profile about her
family trust fund. Things worked out okay for awhile with Haines Ken. But
Haines Ken had a difficult time finding employment in Haines. One week he
took the ferry to Juneau to protest the Kensington Mine project. He saw
women wearing stockings, showing off their smoothly shaved legs. He
doesn't know how it happened, but he hooked up one night with an urban
environmentalist. She smelled fabulous, and was wearing silky matching
lingerie. Haines Ken was hooked! He took a job working for the Forest
Service and moved to Juneau.

Homer Barbie:

Homer Barbie comes with a doctorate in environmental sciences and a
70's-90's Subaru. She is very good friends with Girdwood Barbie. She also
comes with a life-time pass to the Bay Club, a punch-card to Captain's
Coffee, a job at Homer Mental Health, a membership to the Pratt Museum, a
kayak, and a self-righteous, holier-than-thou attitude. Homer Ken is
either fishing, at the bar, or studying in the states. His friends know,
but they won't tell her. Homer Barbie is available at Solstice Music,
KBBI, Ptarmigan Arts, or any of the regular Downward Dog Production
outlets.

Ninilchik Barbie:

Ninilchik Barbie comes in two very distinct models, Good Ninilchik Barbie
and Bad Ninilchik Barbie.

Good Ninilchik Barbie comes with a lot of baggage. She has two small kids
and about 50,000 dollars in student loans. She has a nice face and a sweet
personality but becomes instantly enraged when anyone mentions Ninilchik
Ken who has run off with his cousin. Good Ninilchik Barbie can be found
either in church or at Deep Creek Custom Packing.

Bad Ninilchik Barbie is the racier of the two models. She is voice
activated to spew foul language or spread her legs. She comes with a
pick-up truck, a pack of juvenile pseudo-Kens, with whom she attended high
school, and a keg of beer. She is also known as Instant Tail Gate Party
Barbie. She can be found inhaling her dinner over a mirror at the Inlet
View.

Anchor Point Barbie:

Anchor Point Barbie is missing three teeth, has boobs down to her
waistline, and comes with four kids under the age of 10. She has a custom
made pool cue, a Barbie dream shack without running water, electricity, an
outhouse, and several vehicles that don't work parked in her trash-filled
yard. A.P. Barbie doesn't come with A.P. Ken, but if you know where he is,
be sure to let us know so she can kick that no-good sonofabitch's ass and
collect some child support. Available at Goodwill.

Soldotna Barbie:

Soldotna Barbie has very processed hair, dresses like a teen-ager, and
wears a lot of blue-eyeliner. She doesn't have a job, a GED, or a Ken.
She comes with a bag of pills. Condoms may or may not be included. She
is VERY available during tourist season at the Riverside or Hooligans.

Kenai Barbie:

Kenai Barbie wears all leather, drives a Harley, and can teach you how to
play pool. She is very friendly if you are not intimidated by her
truck-driving biceps. You can pick her up at the King's Inn, but likely
Kenai Ken will smash your face in for trying.

Sterling Barbie:

Sterling Barbie is pale and thin with long stringy hair and pockmarked
face. She has two kids, but they stay with her mother. She drives
Slope-worker Ken's brand-new Chevy pick-up. No one has seen Sterling
Barbie for weeks, but we think she's staying with Spenard Barbie in
Anchorage.

Nikiski Barbie:

Nikiski Barbie isn't available anywhere. She is spotted, infrequently,
running errands for her children or husband, wearing a turtle-neck, heavy
make-up, and large, dark sunglasses. She says she falls down a lot, but
never has time to talk about it. Nikiski Ken works at Agrium and doesn't
have time to worry about this kind of bullshit, dammit!

Kasilof Barbie:

Kasilof Barbie looks similar to her sister, Girdwood Babie, except she
comes with a gun and a dog team and isn't afraid to get a little bloody in
the search of her next meal. She won't tell you where she lives, but she
knows a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy if you know what we mean.
Kasilof Ken may or may not be one of those guys, but he's definitely down
with whatever.

Hillside Barbie

This princess Barbie is only sold at Nordstrom.
She comes with an assortment of Kate Spade handbags, your choice of a BMW
convertible or Hummer H2 and a longhaired foreign lapdog named Honey, and a
cookie-cutter dream house with a to-die-for view of the inlet. Also
included are a Starbucks mug, credit card set, and Alaska Airlines Gold MPV
membership. Available with or without tummy tuck, facelift, and boob-job.
Workaholic, shallow, cheating husband Ken comes with a Porsche.

Southside Barbie

This modern-day homemaker Barbie is available with a Ford Explorer and matching Alaska Club workout ensemble. She gets lost easily and has no full time occupation. Comes with Percocet prescription and Botox. Traffic-jamming cell phone sold separately. Husband Ken is into fishing, hunting, golfing, eating, and lusting for other women. Available at Costco.

Spenard Barbie

This recently paroled Barbie comes with a 9mm handgun, switchblade, '78 El Camino with dark tinted windows, and a meth lab kit. This model is available only after dark and can only be purchased with cash - preferably small bills, unless you're a cop, then we don't know what you're talking about. Boyfriend Ken is in jail. Available at many pawnshops.

Government Hill Barbie

This pale model comes dressed in her own Wrangler jeans 2 sizes too small, a classic Metallica t-shirt and a Tweety Bird tattoo on her shoulder. She has a six-pack of Budweiser and a Hank Williams, Jr. CD set. She can spit over a distance of 6 feet and kick mullet-haired Ken's ass when she is
drunk. Purchase her pickup truck separately and get a Confederate flag bumper sticker absolutely free. Boyfriend Ken is in treatment. Available at Army Navy Surplus.

Muldoon Barbie

This tobacco chewing, brassy-haired Barbie comes with a pair of high-heeled sandals with one broken heel from the time she chased Beer-Gut Ken out of Government Hill Barbie's apartment. Her ensemble includes low-rise acid-washed jeans, fake fingernails, strawberry lip-gloss, and a see-through halter top. Comes with Barbie's Dream Double Wide Trailer. Available at Wal-Mart.

Mountain View Barbie

Pregnant at purchase, this Barbie comes with a stroller and bus pass. Also included is a GED and a completely filled out PFD form. Gangsta Ken and his '82 Caddy are optional. Available at Value Village.

Girdwood Barbie

This Barbie is made out of recycled plastic and tofu. She has long straight brown hair, archless feet, hairy armpits, no makeup, and Birkenstocks with white socks. She does not want or need a Ken doll, but
if you purchase the optional Subaru wagon, you will receive a free rainbow flag sticker. Available at REI.

Downtown Barbie

This versatile doll can be easily converted from Barbie to Ken by simply adding or removing snap-on parts. Walks to work. Likes to "experiment", but will never commit. This model is being phased-out and is only available from the manufacturer.

quote:

Originally posted by MuskegMan:

quote:

Originally posted by DaMan:
Caribou Barbie! The new "C" word!

Actually, Palin is technically a "Wasilla Barbie."

That would explain the "wide" leg seperation.



SS

F*ck the politics, the Barbie doll (dole) descriptions are brilliant, though I still have a soft spot in my heart for a particular Haines Barbie that conducts tourists to see eagles on raft journeys.

Nicely done.

Minor technicality, my Haines Barbie was of South African extraction not Yeast Coaster at all.