Curiosity makes me make this post. My Son who is divorced has a 5 yr. old. The mother left for Ga. with a crackhead W/O permission to leave the state. My understanding that the child can not be removed from state lines without consent. She did it any way. My son did not fight it but has been driving every 2 weeks from Texas to Ga. to pick up my Grandson. She has now moved + refuses to give him a new address so he can have visitations. Meanwhile, she insists on her child support payments, when he still as no access to his son for visitation. This really stinks! Any ideas?

I am now retired from practice and domestic relations was not my area the only advice I offer is he needs to get a lawyer. Do not rely on the

internet this is too serious to risk doing so.

Lawyers cost money. It's only your grandson, I'd go with whatever advice you get off the internet.

quote:

Originally posted by ForrestB:
Lawyers cost money. It's only your grandson, I'd go with whatever advice you get off the internet.

i hope thats a joke. get a lawyer!

Yes it's probably lawyer time. Child support payments...does this offer a means of traceability?

The child is sadly in the middle of the mess, will he miss his father or mother more...?

Before long he will be starting school and will need to live in one town. Where will that be?

The lawyer my son got originally in the divorce was worthless as tits on a nun. Just money lost. He has already started school so he has worked around that. As I understand it child support payments go to the state 1st + they disperse them so no traceability + I can understand in some cases why this would be wise. He has joint custody so he is entitled to visitation rights. For her to drop off the map + ignore the court is just wrong. Illegal too, I think.

Get a copy of the divorce papers for the lawyer
to study. Find a better one. Go thru the court
and ask the judge to see if what she's doing isn't
illegal.

Gal next door had two fine little kids, about 4 & 7 or so. Skipped out from Greeley area down here with a guy she met at a friends party. Never let anyone know where she went.

Took the car that was in both names, she made the payments. Once the tags ran out, she contacted him about taking his name off it and/or renewing. He refused and once the cops saw the expired tags they impounded the car. By then she was within a month of being due to have another kid by the guy she'd moved in with. She's 39 now, baby is about 14 months.

Once the cops got the car, he found out where she was. Before it was done, car had been impounded for months at $40 a day. So it's lost.

He got the court involved and she lost ALL contact with the first two kids forever. I figure much of that was because of her doing the same shit to the ex daddy.
I have no idea of her marriage problems at all.

Those two kids used to come visit me and play with my dog almost everyday. Lovely, well behaved, both the boy and girl. Real shame she lost that battle. Sounded like he was a bastard from the little bit this new guy has told me.

Help him finance and find a good lawyer and get those divorce papers copied so you can read over the legal details. I'd bet she's in legal trouble once the court gets involved. Connect with the same court they div'd thru. Find a better lowyer though if the first one wasn't much good.

Best wishes.

George

Thanks George for your time + comments. When I posted this I was not asking for free lawyer advice, only ideas from others + you are right. I guess I'm a Pollyanna because I still have the br3ed in belief that when someone breaks the law that they can't just get away with it. Hindsight being 20/20, when she took off she stole all of his rifles. She was a convicted felon from a previous drug life. He chose not to bring it up in court + just try to get along. If he had had her prosecuted he most likely would now have full custody. But like my cousin in Dallas who is a corporate attorney has said, "Until you go into the court room you never know what will happen."

Norman,

Get a good family law lawyer. Sounds like you have a lot to work with. Expensive, but there are kids at stake.

Instruct your son to keep paying support on time and get a lawyer worth their salt.
If she's in violation of the custody order, go to court and have the state enforce it.

quote:

Originally posted by TREE 'EM:
Instruct your son to keep paying support on time and get a lawyer worth their salt.
If she's in violation of the custody order, go to court and have the state enforce it.

+1

And have him document everything starting right now. He needs to have a written record of all the dates that he had their child in his care(CC statements showing fuel purchases for the times he went to GA for visitation, etc), and a paper trail of all attempts that he has made to contact her regarding visitation.

If he fails to do this it is very likely that when he does track her down, she will claim that he had abandoned their child. I'm 98% sure that she will be in violation of the court order if she left without getting permission from the court or your son. When she is faced with fines/jail time/loss of custody she will make up whatever lies she has to to make it look like she left for her own safety, so he needs to be prepared for that. This is where a lawyer is worth the $400 per hour. They can make it difficult for her to fool the judge.

Courts tend to favor the mother over the father, so he needs to be diligent. Courts also allow mothers to claim all manner of victimization with no real burden of proof, so he needs to make sure to keep his nose clean and keep records of all communication between them.

He needs to get real serious, real quick. In custody cases the court tends to keep things as they are, so if the mother is the sole caregiver at this point he is already at a disadvantage. And the longer that draws out the harder it will be for him if(when) she claims that he abandoned their child.

I private investigator should be able to track her down with out too much trouble. The cost shouldn't be great and having the documentation will help to prove that he did not abandon his parental rights and responsibilities. It will also make it impossible for her to fool the court into believing that he knew where she was located but made no effort to remain a parent to their child.

Obviously I don't know your son's situation well, but it sounds like he played nice for too long and she took advantage of him. It is time for him to buckle down and play hardball.

I had to fight long and hard to gain custody of my daughter, even though there was a mountain of evidence to prove that I was the only parent who was in a position to care for our daughter. I went bankrupt getting custody of my daughter and it was well worth it. Financial ruin is temporary, but the loss of your child is forever. If he doesn't do everything that he can to get his child back he will regret it forever.

Thanks Jason + all. My son is 42 + I can't MAKE him do anything. I know all the advice to be valid but I can not push the issue. As to money, there is none left after our fighting on the property taxes just to keep the land. I swear I feel daily that I am between the devil + the deep blue sea. I'm really too old to have to keep putting up with this shit. Sorry; no I'm not, only for the language.

quote:

Originally posted by NormanConquest:
I swear I feel daily that I am between the devil + the deep blue sea. I'm really too old to have to keep putting up with this shit.

I truly feel your pain. I'm sure that you feel helpless/hopeless. I will say a prayer for you. No grandfather should have to go through what you are going through.

None of my business, but I'd sell the land or mortgage it or whatever. Hell, I'd sell my soul. Anyway, you will be in my prayers.

I took the dog out and I had another thought: your son may be feeling defeated and too broke to fight, but many/most counties have free/low cost family legal advisors.

If you get in touch with them they can look over the paperwork and advise your son on his options. If she has broken the court's custody order, and leaving the state and not allowing dad his visitation rights it sure sounds like she has, it may be a simple matter to get a judge to grant a default motion in his favor. Then it is just a matter of tracking her and the child down, which should be simple for a private investigator.

Best of luck!