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I went to a bachelor party last night. It was an all day affair, but I had 60 acres of hay down and didn't get there until 7:30 pm.
This was all loggers,sawmill owners, truckers, and feller-buncher operators. It was at a camp on a dead end road on the edge of the woods.
They had a 55 gal drum with what had to be a thousand shotgun shells they had shot at claybirds. Several broken axe handles near the big pine stump that was the target for axe throwing.
I found the grills and smoker to get something to eat. From the pile of rib and chicken bones in another drum, the pig and chicken population in the state was diminished. Plenty of brisket in the smoker, and un-touched salads in the cooler.
Then the strippers showed up.
Two of the ugliest woman you would never want to see without clothes. They had a couple of toy whips they would spank each other with, while doing their "dance".
After a short time, they grabbed the groom, held him over a picknick table and pulled his pants down. The strippers were came over to "whip" him. The best man, pulled off his belt and handed it to one of the women. She let him have it. The groom let out a scream, and yelled, " what happened to no touching!"
The best man was tackled and he was next.
Soon, 40 belts were pulled out of pants and everyone was getting belts across the ass.
I'm not much of a drinker, and had, had nothing to drink but was still eating. I stayed by the grill and smoker with a couple other sober guys and shook our heads.
I'd never get married if I had to go through a bachelor party like that!
 
Posts: 6832 | Registered: 10 April 2009Reply With Quote
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Are you sure they were women?


~Ann





 
Posts: 19127 | Location: The LOST Nation | Registered: 27 March 2001Reply With Quote
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Ann, in todays world, they may have had adams apples. I wasn't looking to close!
 
Posts: 6832 | Registered: 10 April 2009Reply With Quote
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An old buddy of mine + I rode together to another friends wedding last Saturday + Roy needed to stop at the Apple phone store. This kid helped him out + Roy thanked the young man who immediately got offended + said that I identify myself as a woman! Roy, totally deadpan said, sorry, I didn't know; personally I identify myself as a Methodist.


Never mistake motion for action.
 
Posts: 17357 | Location: Austin, Texas | Registered: 11 March 2013Reply With Quote
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quote:
Originally posted by theback40:
I went to a bachelor party last night. It was an all day affair, but I had 60 acres of hay down and didn't get there until 7:30 pm.
This was all loggers,sawmill owners, truckers, and feller-buncher operators. It was at a camp on a dead end road on the edge of the woods.
They had a 55 gal drum with what had to be a thousand shotgun shells they had shot at claybirds. Several broken axe handles near the big pine stump that was the target for axe throwing.
I found the grills and smoker to get something to eat. From the pile of rib and chicken bones in another drum, the pig and chicken population in the state was diminished. Plenty of brisket in the smoker, and un-touched salads in the cooler.
Then the strippers showed up.
Two of the ugliest woman you would never want to see without clothes. They had a couple of toy whips they would spank each other with, while doing their "dance".
After a short time, they grabbed the groom, held him over a picknick table and pulled his pants down. The strippers were came over to "whip" him. The best man, pulled off his belt and handed it to one of the women. She let him have it. The groom let out a scream, and yelled, " what happened to no touching!"
The best man was tackled and he was next.
Soon, 40 belts were pulled out of pants and everyone was getting belts across the ass.
I'm not much of a drinker, and had, had nothing to drink but was still eating. I stayed by the grill and smoker with a couple other sober guys and shook our heads.
I'd never get married if I had to go through a bachelor party like that!


You win the internet with that one...
 
Posts: 360 | Location: California | Registered: 14 August 2009Reply With Quote
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Saw the groom and best man last night. I asked how they were after the party.
They said, " have you ever slipped going down stairs, and had your ass hit every step going down"? Yeah, like that!
They thought some belt buckles were involved in a few of the smacks, from the black and blue they had.
 
Posts: 6832 | Registered: 10 April 2009Reply With Quote
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I know Ann. It seems you have to do a "Crocodile Dundee" gender test in certain circumstances.

quote:
Originally posted by Aspen Hill Adventures:
Are you sure they were women?
 
Posts: 3652 | Location: SC,USA | Registered: 07 March 2002Reply With Quote
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quote:
Originally posted by theback40:
Saw the groom and best man last night. I asked how they were after the party.
They said, " have you ever slipped going down stairs, and had your ass hit every step going down"? Yeah, like that!
They thought some belt buckles were involved in a few of the smacks, from the black and blue they had.


rotflmo


~Ann





 
Posts: 19127 | Location: The LOST Nation | Registered: 27 March 2001Reply With Quote
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quote:
Originally posted by Bobster:
I know Ann. It seems you have to do a "Crocodile Dundee" gender test in certain circumstances.

quote:
Originally posted by Aspen Hill Adventures:
Are you sure they were women?


Bob, it's a sad world anymore!


~Ann





 
Posts: 19127 | Location: The LOST Nation | Registered: 27 March 2001Reply With Quote
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We were at a resort in South Africa.

All the guides were women.

Even Walter was better looking than them.

Apparently the owners wife picked them.


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Posts: 66756 | Location: Dubai, UAE | Registered: 08 January 1998Reply With Quote
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we just got back from taking the grandkids to "KALAHARI, the worlds largest indoor waterpark", according to them. in roundrock tx. apparently there is a booming market for bikinis to fit 350 lb plus women. this was last week. just now getting my appetite back.
 
Posts: 1532 | Location: south of austin texas | Registered: 25 November 2011Reply With Quote
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Just be glad it wasn't clothing optional! Eeker
 
Posts: 6832 | Registered: 10 April 2009Reply With Quote
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John, the thing that really pisses me off about all these water parks is where are they getting the water? The developers make their money + move on + we who live here are left with a diminishing water table.


Never mistake motion for action.
 
Posts: 17357 | Location: Austin, Texas | Registered: 11 March 2013Reply With Quote
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BTW, Sorry, I hope you had a great time with the grandkids. They will remember that, + my personal feelings run secondary.


Never mistake motion for action.
 
Posts: 17357 | Location: Austin, Texas | Registered: 11 March 2013Reply With Quote
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no, you are right. and they have a big honking fountain outside too. the water indoors used for the various "rides/slides" of course has to be reused for lack of a better term. but that big fountain outside looses a lot to evaporation in this godawful heat and drought. not to mention the prices for food and drinks. they put disney to shame. and the food sucks. $33 for a spaghatti plate, $99 steaks, MUSHROOM AND CALIFLOWER TACOS!. CAN BEER $8-$11. Margarita $11-$15. only reason we went was cause we couldnt make our 50th anniversary alaskan cruise happen so we decided to share the anniversary w/grandkids somewhere close. kids had fun so it worked out. ever been to a chucky Cheese place with all the kids games? they had one there, $299 per kid per day plus had to buy a ticket for each game. we passed on that! 2 days and nights and we called it quits. now if i can just erase some of the "memories"!
 
Posts: 1532 | Location: south of austin texas | Registered: 25 November 2011Reply With Quote
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Last bachelor party I went to, we got drunk and went fly fishing. I think I got the better deal. rotflmo


There is hope, even when your brain tells you there isn’t.
– John Green, author
 
Posts: 16306 | Location: Sweetwater, TX | Registered: 03 June 2000Reply With Quote
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Right Ho Bill! My last + (hopefully last) bachelor party was also soaked in spirits, but the difference was not a fly fishing but a road hunt, I.E Poaching! I can speak freely as this happened almost 50 years ago + nothing was killed. Hindsight is 20/20; these days I will be happy to stay in my room + let the young idiots venture forth.


Never mistake motion for action.
 
Posts: 17357 | Location: Austin, Texas | Registered: 11 March 2013Reply With Quote
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Talk about Fly Fishing----Did you hear about the girl that was deathly affraid of Flies----UNTIL SHE OPENED ONE! killpc
Hip
 
Posts: 1793 | Location: Long Island, New York | Registered: 04 January 2008Reply With Quote
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Hip. I somehow get this vision of this young peasant girl while looking like the heavenly song of Bernadette with a beam of sunlight on her face + the adoration of a miracle (but that's me with a weird sense of humor ) " The Choral begins" is the sound track. Wink


Never mistake motion for action.
 
Posts: 17357 | Location: Austin, Texas | Registered: 11 March 2013Reply With Quote
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