Don't think of it as shame, think of it as "scouting". I would plan a return visit to that particular neighborhood sometime in the middle of the night and readjust my karma, so to speak.

Toolmaker

Do'nt be too hard on your self 120,,,Proper time and place for everything,,Sounds like those crats were really trying to set you up for trouble,,Clay

On a high note, I was about 1 mile from the house last night at 11:00PM and low and behold, there was a calico already feeding the worms in the middle of the road.

You are forgiven, but remember your counsel. Next time you get stiffed, and they don't happen to have an order in, you know where to vent your frustration.


Dan

Pres., TYGC

www.SmokeThat.Pussy

As some of you know, I supplement my income by delivering pizzas for a nationally-known chain of stores. It's really good money for the limited time/commitment, and I enjoy getting out to meet people.

Last night, though, I put money before principal, and today I feel the need to confess all before my peers and beg mercy for my low character, as demonstrated in the events of last night.

It was getting close to closing time, and tips had been uncharacteristically low. Feeling a little frustrated, I turned the corner, and lo and behold, right in front of the delivery address was two extremely fat field lions, facing each other, right in the middle of the road. My faithful Dodge Stratus began to lunge forward for the kill, when I noticed the ENTIRE family that I was to deliver to, was sitting out on the lighted porch, watching me, and the cats. For just a moment, my blood lust ruled the day, and then my weaker part called out, "Drew, those people tip, and quite well." I completely caved in to the weak, money-hungry part of me, let up on the accelerator, and nay, even applied the brakes. The field lions didn't even notice my car, until the bumper was almost on top of them, and I lightly applied the horn. Then, they calmly sauntered out of the way, as if they knew that they were safe all around.

I did receive the tip, but like Judas' 30 pieces of silver, the idea of denying my nature (such that it is) and surrendering to the baser part of my seemingly low character has diminished the luster of the compensation.

My lovely wife had to sit up with me all night, to make sure I wouldn't do anything rash, like end it all. The grey light of morning doesn't make it look any better. Please, I'm begging you, forgive me!

And help you I shall! Build and mont a claymore under the front end of the car. When the opportunity arises the car backfires and the poor defenceless cats are misteriously vaporized. Not your fault something went wrong with the car. Maybe even hook up a kill switch to the ignition and have to borrow the phone of the victims owners,angling for a sympathy tip! derf

Ah, hell, I wouldnt be too ashamed. You got em spotted now and they know that Stratus is harmless. I would say that was one of the best scouting trips you could have been on.

Come back tomorrow night, driving slow, as looking for a address, then, if them bastards are still in the road, SPLAT. All will be well with the world.

Andy

120, do not be ashamed, for the quail-maimers were merely luring you into an ambush. I have personally seen this one once before, and had to deal with the consequences. What you need to remember is that cats are SNEAKY! They were out in the street, knowing you were coming by, (sent by Birman?) just to torment your soul. DO NOT GIVE IN! If you had surrendered to your instincts, they would have won! What do they care, they have nine lives anyway. Stay alert, be prepared, and when you find them with THEIR gaurd down, well, you know what to do.

Rick

Hello Mr. 120mm. Rejoice! Do not be downhearted. Be sure that there exists an iminently plausible alternative explanation of the occurrance that bears close review; i.e., plan (b). The entire family had participated in baiting the front parking spot with anchovies and anchovy juice from yesterday's pie. That is why they always order the anchovies on the side. That is why they are all always outside watching the cats, awaiting you. That is why the cats were fat. These people are a betting family and were running a book on your delivery, just as the London book will take almost anything. The results are e-mailed world wide. The bet was whether the pizza driver would apply the brakes, accelerate, get one cat, two cats, or miss entirely. WIN-PLACE-SHOW. You get a good tip for the null hypothesis. The real payoff for you is the long shot. Two at once. Maintaining your principles would PAY in this case. Romans went to the coliseum, not for the pizza, but for the blood. Regards, ned

Look out world,Mr. Ludd is BACK! derf

For everything there is a time and a season! I don't try to steal my Master's food while he is in the room, but once he left I try to sneak back for it... I might get a good trashing , but then I got the steak as well and a trashing is not much for a real GSP compared with a steak!

Snap, elucidate if you will, what does a GSP call that which people refer to as 'pussy'? Does it have different meanings in dog speak too?

BTW, I think Ned's got it figured pretty well. Good to hear from you again!

Dan

Pres., TYGC

www.IntellectualDiscussion.AndFineBrandy

Dan,
This human thing, using the same words for different thins is very confusing for dogs. We use one concept for each action or each smell, and everything that smells the same to us are seen as the same concept. Think for yourself how it would be to teach a dog doing different things with the same command. When I first understood that you meant different things with "pussy" I thought it was because of your inferior sense of smell, and that all the things you called pussy smelled the same to you. Now I understand better, and it is quite fun trying to grasp it and use it, but it is still very difficult.

Well said Snap, and BTW, I just POTKB!

Dan

Pres., TYGC

www.Sniffin.Tuna

Snap it gets worse, not only do we use the same word for different things, we use different words for the same thing! For example:

Bearded Clam
Taco
Montana Crotch Rat
two legged tuna
happy hole
fur burger
beaver pelt
and several more vulgar terms that I won't get into

We call these "euphemisms". Oh, the complexity of the english language!

Toolmaker

P.S. Wot the hell does "POTKB" stand for?

Oh dear! Maybe you didn't get to know Birman very well before the GC debacle!

POTKB - Acronymn, unpronouncable in english, relates to uncontrolled mirth: Pissed On The KeyBoard

There are others, perhaps somebody will drag them out, dust them off and so forth.

Dan

Pres., TYGC

www.Dictionary.Dan