I knew it would happen sooner or later. I forecast this several months back, check the archives if you care.

A simple scenario unfolded before my eyes, seconds after I realized destiny was bringing together two critters who naturally believe they are at the pinnacle of the food chain. One represented by two small eyes above the water, plus a round bump of a nose about 15" in front. Patient creature the gator, cold blooded, hardly ever hurried. He floated just below the surface on the far side of a bit of creek I live on, which is but a short distance from the river, which is...oh, sorry, where was I?

Yes! On the embankment above comes a tom of orange and white, a maiming, raping, pillaging barbarian, alien to our country and ecosystem. He is stalking a finch on this unusually warm January morning. This whole thing is a lesson in stealth and stalk. A step here, twitch there. And a slow undulation down there in the water that tom is unaware of, so intent is his focus on tweety. Six feet, then five, the lizard is cocked, a sinuous collection of curves in clear water, mottled brown and black. Tom takes one more step, his very last, and...

Y'all know how fast a cat's reflexes are and all. He didn't even get to move before he became stage #1 lizard crap. God made gators so fast on the strike it is chilling. A hugh boil of water, a great splash and tom was history. Well, I'll tell you what; I don't care much for them over 8' and that's about where he is, but Great Balls of Fire(!), that was amazing. Been smilin' all day. Lady across the creek is concerned and no, I haven't seen her kitty. Guess he has developed a taste for Egyptian cuisine. Or would that be pussy?

It would be an encouraging act of native wildlife conservation to establish a bait station at that spot on the embankment. Cats feeding American alligators, homeowner enjoying the show. How nice!

I think this calls for a can of aromatic tuna placed upon the embankment. Pictures please. poletax

Dan I lived in Fla. for 12 years.That was a long time ago.I would love to see you troll Ol' Bob along the bank on an outrigger about sundown.I do miss Sailfishing off West Palm in December.

Long way from Palm Beach to Montana Wolfer. Glad you made the move before your brain reverted to polished terrazzo like so many around there. Actually lived there myself for 5 years as a youth, while it was still a fairly small town. Sigh... Then one day we had to go. Dad said I'd have to learn to vote one day and that weren't the place for it... Ever go down to the Sailfish Club? Anyway, I quit using "bait" a long time ago, so trolling with Bad Bob is out, and I really don't think I'd reward the lizard that way. Afterall, he did a good deed and all. Perhaps flys without hooks to lure the kitties to the bank?

As to pictures or videos, this all transpired in scant seconds even though is took several minutes in the telling. No time to grab the movie gear. However, there are a few more cats around and eventually the photo op may occur. I'll certainly post here if it happens.

I'm the President of "The Godzilla Club" here in Yankeetown, a new organization devoted to big lizards with shiny hides...contributions are welcome.

Dan never been to the Sailfish Club.Used to fish north toward Juno and the water tower,use to drift drive the ledges off Boynton Beach.Caught a lot of "bugs" on the reefs off Lost tree/Air force Beach.Left there in 1983 for Montana.Don't miss the crowds,just sailfishing when it's running 5' to 7' feet and they're balling the bait.Sold lots of goggle eyes during tournaments.Say Hi to the girls on Tamarind and Rosemary for me.

As a native Iowegian, I cannot claim any expertise of large lizards with a taste for pussy, but I HAVE seen some Nature Shows, where they talked about gators and crocs, and how a lot of their predator behavior may be learned. I'd say that this lizard has developed a taste for pussy from past experience, which is a good thing!

Too,,Cool!!! We can only hope that he shares what he's learned with the other gators! Clay.

Don't know if they share lore in the den or not Clay, I suspect not. They live in a world of opportunity. There is a smaller one that comes around in warmer weather when I clean fish. About 5' long, he slinks away when I throw a carcass his way, yet he eats the bloody ice from the cooler, and doesn't mind being sprayed with the hose, so I'm left to conclude they don't read "American Sportsman" by the fire at night. His behavior seems to remind me of neglected ghetto kids, and the "me" philosophy. A species that survives as a whole but is essentially dysfunctional on a social level.

The victor in this clash shall henceforth be know as Albert, in honor of the U of F mascot, this by recent decree of the Yankeetown chapter of The Godzilla Club. Perhaps I can arrange stud service, let me know if his lineage suits your needs.

Dan,Thats rather thoughtful of you to make your gator buddy a whole cooler full of italian ice and cool him off with the hose Every time I see one it seems to be sleeping on the banks.I did see one stalking a flock of ducks one time,then my 5y/o son saw it and started screaming at the ducks to get away Clay

So Dan,how much are you gonna charge us for the opportunity to throw the bone to yer lizard? derf

Nothin'; You mind if I make movies??? I'm guessin' Albert might get a bit restless in the middle of all that.

Mr. derf, sometime Li worry about you.

Li,Don't worry for derf,,Be happy for him,It sounds like he's looking to get a sunburn in feb. I do every year,,my co workers get green with envy. Clay.

Digital Dan I've been pondering some new twists with your"feed the gators" program.My brother lives in Central Fl.I think we could borrow his Allisoncraft for a little fishing.How about Bad Bob suspended from a 7/0 treble "skittered across the top of the grass in the rim canal on the Big O.?As Roland Martin would say"Oh Son!".I'm not sure Albert would fit in the livewell,maybe we could rig up a stringer.Just my thoughts on this.If you get a chance to pitch or flip kitties at the ponds at the gator farm be sure to video.

Thankfully, the only lizards with a taste for pussy here in Sweden are the lounge lizards...

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I'm the President of "The Godzilla Club" here in Yankeetown, a new organization devoted to big lizards with shiny hides...contributions are welcome.

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What size contribution if I want a ticket for your annual raffle for a pair of hand made croc shoes?

Well sir, that would be a "crock" of a different nature since we don't have Crocs here, only gators. All the crocs in Florida are down in the very southern tip of the state. They are not cold hardy apparently, unlike your lounge crocs up there in Sweden. Appreciate the idea for the raffle though, will put that before the "board" at our next meeting.

Wolfer old friend...you seem to have all these insights into machines that are so terribly conducive to slicing pussy in spectacular ways. I must have led a sheltered life in my youth. The highspeed troll might actually cause more interest from bass than gators, but damn if it doesn't engender some lively thoughts in regards to team sports! You know, couple of airboats with cats on the line, playing 'crack the whip' and aiming for the prop and all. Bonus points if the beasty grabs your opponents hat and takes it to the slice and dice with him. What would Roland say to that? I think the game should be played without baskets around the props, just to add a bit of tension to the display. I'll just bet that Bad Bob sailing through a 3 blade composite would be something special...

I am reminded of Howard Deans recent proclamation: "YEEEEHAAAAW!"

Dan,I really like the airboat idea.We could setup a course in the "glades".Water field lion polo,a game for all seasons.My parents are still amazed I lived to adulthood with my "gift" for machinery.It's -33 degrees this morning.It appears that Mother Nature has sent my remaining field lions to the long dirt nap.It hasn't been above zero for 14 days.Haven't seen any"game" in over a week.I still think it would be a hoot to dangle Bad Bob over one of the ponds at "Gator Jungle".I could see Ol Albert rising as a trout to a dryfly.Got to go sharpen my knife.

I don't know,But I imagine the props on those boats could cost more than the motors. I propose redirecting the spout on a tree chipper to discarge over coolers of ice to give the gators a easily digestible neat to eat treat

I got click happy there,,,The thing could be transported to local carnivals,,The crat toss!,$5.00 a toss for a supplied crat,,,,Free for those who choose to bring thier own!!

Well, you did it Clay. I pissed my shorts on that one! Just goes to show, more minds are better than none.

You can not fathom the depth in which I hate such pestilence,Kill them all,,,or keep them inside your house to piss and shred at will.I'd sooner own lab rats than a crat.Clay

At least lab rats can be taught some neat tricks. Most cats can't remember litter training never mind "don't upchuck on the shag". Even my little one tests my patience some times! derf

Very much like the Ferringi. Horrifying little bastards on a good day...

They aren't really hard to understand Jim,you just need a copy of "The Rules Of Aquisition" such as I have. They are available on line from several sources. Those little bastards will even sell their own secrets,bless their twisted little hearts and the internet. derf

quote:

Originally posted by derf:
At least lab rats can be taught some neat tricks. Most cats can't remember litter training never mind "don't upchuck on the shag". Even my little one tests my patience some times! derf

There was a gal claiming she could teach a crat to use the commode and flush when done.

I'll believe it when I see it.

quote:

Originally posted by Swamp_Fox:

quote:

Originally posted by derf:
At least lab rats can be taught some neat tricks. Most cats can't remember litter training never mind "don't upchuck on the shag". Even my little one tests my patience some times! derf

There was a gal claiming she could teach a crat to use the commode and flush when done.

I'll believe it when I see it.

I wonder if she uses Old Elk Hunter's crat training technique.